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the importance of biodiversity is being widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat. what can be done to maintain biodiversity? v.1

the importance of biodiversity is being widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat. what can be done to maintain biodiversity? v. 1
In today's world, Many people have admitted that it is crucial to preserve different animals and plant species from extinction as ever-increasing numbers of them are threatening to die out. This essay will elaborate the possible measures to tackle this problem. First and foremost, It is true that implementing strong laws against deforestation is the most effective tool in protecting the natural habitats from degradation. However, These regulations should be taken wisely because humans also have needs to be met. For example, The Indian government allows logging trees within the limits under their observation. Whilst in European countries, They still suffer from illegal vegetations and tree cutting. Secondly, It is indispensable educating people all over the world about the negative effects that follow animal's fur purchasing. In other words, This process definitely encourages more animal slaughter. As an illustration, According to statistical data in Africa, There are an immense amount of animals that have been killed in the last 30 years because of the fur business. Unfortunately, Killing taken place in many African parts. To sum up, It is clear that Goverement and humans should cooperate to preserve wild animals and plants despite of the unstoppable tries to exploit them.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have admitted that it is crucial to preserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plant species from extinction as ever-increasing numbers of them are threatening to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out. This essay will elaborate the possible measures to tackle this problem.

First
and foremost, It is true that implementing strong laws against deforestation is the most effective tool in protecting the natural habitats from degradation.
However
, These regulations should
be taken
wisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
humans
also
have needs to
be met
.
For example
, The Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
logging trees within the limits under their observation. Whilst in European countries, They
still
suffer from illegal
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetations
and tree cutting.

Secondly
, It is indispensable educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects that follow animal's fur purchasing.
In other words
, This process definitely encourages more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
slaughter. As an illustration, According to statistical data in Africa, There are an immense
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that have
been killed
in the last 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fur business. Unfortunately, Killing taken place in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
African parts.

To sum up, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverement
and humans should cooperate to preserve wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the unstoppable tries to exploit them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay the importance of biodiversity is being widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat. what can be done to maintain biodiversity? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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