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The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity? v.1

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity? v. 1
Nowadays, the numbers of species being on the verge of extinction are growing rapidly. This has led to the recognition of the importance of biodiversity. In order to slow this negative process, several steps can be taken. Firstly, I believe that it is important to inform people about the negative effects of biodiversity loss. Seminars and awareness sessions must be held to teach people what biodiversity is and why it is important. Education is a strong tool. One of the main issues that can be taught to people is the importance of recycling. Recently, natural resources are being intensively exploited to meet the needs of the rapidly increasing population. People should be encouraged to recycle and reuse things in order to reduce the amount of energy and water being used. Secondly, people should also feel responsible about the amount of waste they produce and the way the dispose it into nature. As far as disposal of waste is concerned, I believe that government plays a significant role. New regulations and policies must be set regarding the disposal of wastes, whether they are being dumped into water or buried underground. For instance, chemical wastes are a serious threat to different species since they can be extremely hazardous when they are not purified enough before being disposed into the environment. Moreover, deforestation must also taken under control. Natural habitats of endangered species should be preserved and illegal hunting of such animals should be strictly banned. To conclude, numbers of animals under threat of extinction is growing rapidly. This has resulted in the recognition of the importance of biodiversity. In my opinion, people should be further informed about the adverse effects of biodiversity loss. Everybody should be responsible to take action. The government has also a significant role. New regulations must set in order to slow this unfortunate process.
Nowadays, the numbers of species being on the verge of extinction are growing
rapidly
. This has led to the recognition of the importance of biodiversity. In order to slow this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
process, several steps can
be taken
.

Firstly
, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of biodiversity loss. Seminars and awareness sessions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be held
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
what biodiversity is and why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Education is a strong tool. One of the main issues that can
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the importance of recycling. Recently, natural resources are being
intensively
exploited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of the
rapidly
increasing population.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
be encouraged
to recycle and reuse things in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of energy and water being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
feel responsible about the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
they produce and the way
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'dispose' is correct. If 'dispose' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the dispose
it into nature. As far as disposal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is concerned
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
plays a significant role.

New regulations and policies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be set
regarding the disposal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
, whether they are
being dumped
into water or buried underground.
For instance
, chemical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
are a serious threat to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species since they can be
extremely
hazardous when they are not purified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being disposed
into the environment.

Moreover
, deforestation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
taken under control. Natural habitats of endangered species should
be preserved
and illegal hunting of such animals should be
strictly
banned.

To conclude
, numbers of animals under threat of extinction is growing
rapidly
. This has resulted in the recognition of the importance of biodiversity. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
further
informed about the adverse effects of biodiversity loss. Everybody should be responsible to take action. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
also
a significant role. New regulations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
set in order to slow this unfortunate process.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity? v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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