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The illustration shows a bicycle, which is an environmentally friendly vehicle. Describe this vehicle and its environmentally friendly feature. v.1

The illustration shows a bicycle, which is an environmentally friendly vehicle. Describe this vehicle and its environmentally friendly feature. v. 1
With the progression of the society, many people do their family planning in their thirties rather than twenties which was common a decade ago. This essay will discuss positives and drawbacks of this trend and which outweighs the other. As people have turned extremely ambitious these days, they prefer achieving their goals and indulge into starting a family later. This priority shift not only help them focus and earn huge amount of money to make them self sufficient, but it also helps to financially support the future generation in a better way. For instance, financially independent parents are able to provide a better lifestyle for their children than those who are unstable in their careers. On the contrary, ageing brings vulnerability of severe health issues in a person's life. By the same token, pregnancy becomes complicated at the later stage, both for a man and a woman. A recent research concluded that, the probability of conceiving in couples is reduced by 23% after they touch their thirties and can further be declined up to 53% over the age of thirty five. Secondly, individuals do not remain fit enough to support their children, if the age gap between the parents and child is big. For example, if a child is born when a man is forty five, his child would be only twenty and not financially independent at the man's retirement age. Hence, the family might need extra financial aids to support the children. In conclusion, they are few advantages to starting a family late such as a child can be provided better financial aid to support his life, the disadvantages are more and it outweighs the advantages as the complications in conceiving can increase with a person's age and the generation gap between progenitors and their children is huge which can become a major issue in future.
With the progression of the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning in their thirties
rather
than twenties which was common a decade ago. This essay will discuss positives and drawbacks of this trend and which outweighs the other.

As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have turned
extremely
ambitious these days, they prefer achieving their goals and indulge into starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
later. This priority shift not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them focus and earn huge amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self sufficient
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
financially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the future generation in a better way.
For instance
,
financially
independent parents are able to provide a better lifestyle for their children than those who are unstable in their careers.

On the contrary
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
brings vulnerability of severe health issues in a person's life. By the same token, pregnancy becomes complicated at the later stage, both for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and a woman. A recent research concluded that, the probability of conceiving in couples is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by 23% after they touch their thirties and can
further
be declined
up to 53% over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thirty five
.
Secondly
, individuals do not remain fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
their children, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gap between the parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is born
when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
forty five
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
twenty and not
financially
independent at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
might need extra financial aids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the children.

In conclusion
, they are few advantages to starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
late such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can
be provided
better financial aid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
his life, the disadvantages are more and it outweighs the advantages as the complications in conceiving can increase with a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and the generation gap between progenitors and their children is huge which can become a major issue
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The illustration shows a bicycle, which is an environmentally friendly vehicle. Describe this vehicle and its environmentally friendly feature. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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