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Cars are causing problem nowadays. However, use of bicycle has decreased. Why use of bicycle is decreasing and how can we enhance use of bicycle? v.2

Cars are causing problem nowadays. However, use of bicycle has decreased. Why use of bicycle is decreasing and how can we enhance use of bicycle? v. 2
Over the last few decades, human life has become comfortable with the arrival of many technological things, wherein car is the most important facet of it. However, more comforts have brought several eccentric problems in people, and thus they prefer less bicycle. Therefore, as per need of statement, I am going to highlight causes and measures. To begin with, cycling considers as an essential part of daily exercise for humans whereby they keep themselves fit and healthy. Notwithstanding, use of bicycle has declined on account of manifold reasons. Firstly, people prefer to use car because they associate it with their social status, and it makes them more oblivious related to health issues which may come due to cars. Secondly, people, today, have a sedentary lifestyle wherein they do not like to do any work which requires physical power as a result they use cars for their comforts. For instance, It has been found in many surveys that people have many problems such as backbone pain, obesity and so on. However, every problem has solution which is similar in this case. The use of cars can be mitigated by manifold initiatives. Very first, government should build separate cycling tracks so that people can easily use it. Furthermore, elite group of society should come forward to promote use of bicycle and cut usage of cars so that other people could also be feel motivated to use bicycle. Secondly, there should be some advertisements to make people aware about importance of health such that they should use more bicycle which in turn will bring healthy body along with reduction in traffic congestion. In conclusion, it is an unequivocal that less use of car will not only bring better life but also helps in reducing pollution.
Over the last few decades, human life has become comfortable with the arrival of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technological things, wherein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facet of it.
However
, more comforts have brought several eccentric problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
thus
they prefer less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
.
Therefore
, as per need of statement, I am going to highlight causes and measures.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, cycling considers as an essential part of daily exercise for humans whereby they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit and healthy. Notwithstanding,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
has declined on account of manifold reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they associate it with their social status, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more oblivious related to health issues which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, have a sedentary lifestyle wherein they do not like to do any work which requires physical power
as a result
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for their comforts.
For instance
, It has
been found
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surveys that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems such as backbone pain, obesity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

However
, every problem has solution which is similar
in this case
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can
be mitigated
by manifold initiatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
first
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should build separate cycling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
Furthermore
, elite group of society should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
also
be
Consider using a past participle here: "felt".
feel
motivated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
.
Secondly
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertisements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about importance of health such that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
which in turn will bring healthy body along with reduction in traffic congestion.

In conclusion
, it is an unequivocal that less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring better life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in reducing pollution.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Cars are causing problem nowadays. However, use of bicycle has decreased. Why use of bicycle is decreasing and how can we enhance use of bicycle? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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