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The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in UK between 1971 and 2001. write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. v.1

The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in UK between 1971 and 2001. write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. v. 1
Enthusiasm for digital technologies is at an all time high. Owing to the trend, children these days rely on computers more than required. This essay will discuss various issues related to this transition and will propose some measures to ameliorate the situation. Pupils have started taking help of these technologies to complete their homework and projects. As a plethora of resources are available on the internet, they easily get overwhelmed by so many options are eventually getting confused. This is hampering the knowledge of the child by giving wrong information on various topics. Furthermore, it is also making juveniles lazy. As compared to older generations, who use to do deep research on a topic by going through various library books, this generation puts less effort as they find any information in just a click of a button and some students not even bother to cross check the information. For instance, some children use Wikipedia as a source of information, but it is an open source. Hence, all the information written for that platform might not be true, but children are using it and gaining wrongful data. One of the solutions to deal with such issues could be to limit the use of computers in a day. This will not only force them opt of the more reliable resources such as library books, but will also improve the intellect as will reading books, they can explore various other perspectives of a theory. Hence, parents as well as schools should encourage reading books than finding things on some websites. Secondly, books can be made more interactive, including colourful pictures, for example, so that minors can get as visually engrossed in books as they get in digital gadgets. In conclusion, with the increase in the usage of computers among the children, they are growing lazy as well as attaining a lot of irrelevant information from the unknown sources. Therefore, the use of these gadgets should be limited by educational institutes and parents and encourage them to read books and books can also be made more interesting to gain offspring interest.
Enthusiasm for digital technologies is at an
It appears that a hyphen is missing in the adjective "all-time"
all time
high. Owing to the trend,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days rely on computers more than required. This essay will discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
issues related to this transition and will propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to ameliorate the situation.

Pupils have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these technologies to complete their homework and projects. As a plethora of resources are available on the internet, they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overwhelmed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options are
eventually
getting confused. This is hampering the knowledge of the child by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
topics.
Furthermore
, it is
also
making juveniles lazy. As compared to older generations, who
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
do deep research on a topic by going through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
library
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, this generation puts less effort as they find any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click of a button and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students not even bother to cross
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Wikipedia as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is an open source.
Hence
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
written for that platform might not be true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are using it and gaining wrongful data.

One of the solutions to deal with such issues could be to limit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in a day. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
force them opt of the more reliable resources such as library
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the intellect as will reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, they can explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
other perspectives of a theory.
Hence
, parents
as well
as schools should encourage reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
than finding things on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can
be made
more interactive, including
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
pictures,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that minors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
as
visually
engrossed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in digital gadgets.

In conclusion
, with the increase in the usage of computers among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they are growing lazy
as well
as attaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
irrelevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the unknown sources.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these gadgets should
be limited
by educational institutes and parents and encourage them to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can
also
be made
more interesting to gain offspring interest.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graphs show changes in spending habits of people in UK between 1971 and 2001. write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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