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The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v.8

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 8
Choosing a career and making a living out of it is an important decision in a person’s life. There is an increasing trend of creating different ways to generate income to afford a balanced lifestyle. This essay analyses the financial and health benefits of having several streams of income. Money can buy all the material items in life that create happiness. For example, a person can choose to buy a luxury car, afford an international annual family vacation and a lavish lifestyle, provided he has the abundant financial support. Having different ways of earning money will help the individuals to attain required financial freedom to afford a balanced living. On the other hand, if a person has a single source of income then it becomes difficult for a person to manage the monthly commitments. Health is an important wealth any individual should accumulate in his life creating a happy living. Creating a right balance of intellectual and physical activity can create a healthy body. In olden days, an individual chose a single career path and struggled to master the talent. Whereas, in current days, people create choices to find a career path that maximises their talent potential. Constant improvement in individual’s talent creates new avenues to generate income. Thus, exploring several career options will create healthy individuals. After analyzation of the financial and health benefits of the people who choose to have multiple career choices and several income streams, it is evident that this new trend should continue through the life to create a challenging yet happy living.
Choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
out of it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decision in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There is an increasing trend of creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
to afford a balanced lifestyle. This essay analyses the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
and health benefits of having several streams of income.

Money can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the material items in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
happiness.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a luxury car, afford an international annual family vacation and a lavish lifestyle, provided he has the abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of earning money will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to attain required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
freedom to afford a balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
On the other hand
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has a single source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
then it becomes difficult for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to manage the monthly commitments.

Health is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
wealth any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should accumulate in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
creating a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. Creating a right balance of intellectual and physical activity can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a healthy body. In olden days, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
chose a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path and struggled to master the talent. Whereas, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
choices to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path that
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximises' is British English.
maximises
their talent potential. Constant improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
new avenues to generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
Thus
, exploring several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
options will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
healthy individuals.

After
Possible spelling mistake found.
analyzation
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
and health benefits of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who choose to have multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
choices and several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
streams, it is evident that this new trend should continue through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
a challenging
yet
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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