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The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicle be reduced? v.1

The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicle be reduced? v. 1
The wheel is considered by many as the greatest invention in human history and the motor vehicles that we use these days is the main reason we live in the industrial age. The ease of transportation and freedom to move goods from one place to another is the main driving factor for a modern era. Yet, the use of private vehicles endangers the environment to a great extent and leads to many serious problems including sound and air pollution, accident, congestions on roads and many more. There are many steps we can take to reduce the number of private motor vehicles running on roads to ensure the safety of the environment and to make the world livable for the upcoming generations. First of all, improving the public transportation system would encourage people to use those instead of relying on their private cars. People mostly buy private cars to have a comfortable commuting experience though maintaining private cars is far more expensive. If the public transportation facility is improved, many people would reduce using their private vehicles. Secondly, increasing the price of fuel could be another great measure to discourage people from using and buying private cars. It is natural that enhanced fuel price would increase the cost of maintaining private cars and thus more people would think twice before purchasing a new car. In addition, more taxes should be imposed on private car ownership. Thirdly, traffic rules should be more strictly imposed and practised so that people can’t use private cars if there are less than 3 passengers in the car. This rule is applied in many cities and thus they have successfully reduced the number of private cars running on their roads. For goods transportation, water and railway should be used. Usually, water and rail transports can carry a great more amount of products than the road vehicles and that should be strictly followed. Then, individual awareness is required to reduce the use of private cars. People tend to use their cars even for a small distance. Walking and cycling should be promoted so that people rely on their cars less and thus pollute the environment less. Finally, the ownership of cars should be restricted based on the number of family members, the number of vehicles a single family can purchase and based on their gross incomes. In conclusion, the private motor vehicles have great advantages but they severely pollute the environment. Hence their usages should be reduced by promoting public transportations, making laws strict, increasing fuel price and by creating awareness among mass people.
The wheel
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as the greatest invention in human history and the motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these days is the main reason we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the industrial age. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from one place to another is the main driving factor for a modern era.
Yet
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
endangers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
extent and leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious problems including sound and air pollution, accident, congestions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps we can take to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
running on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to ensure the safety of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world livable for the upcoming generations.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, improving the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system would encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those
instead
of relying on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to have a comfortable commuting experience though maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is far more expensive. If the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
facility is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
Secondly
, increasing the price of fuel could be another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
measure to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from using and buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. It is natural that enhanced fuel price would increase the cost of maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
thus
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
In addition
, more taxes should
be imposed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership.

Thirdly
, traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should be more
strictly
imposed and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
if there are less than 3 passengers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
is applied
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities and
thus
they have
successfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
running on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. For
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, water and railway should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Usually
, water and rail transports can carry a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
more amount of products than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
and that should be
strictly
followed. Then, individual awareness
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
even for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
distance. Walking and cycling should
be promoted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
less and
thus
pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
less.
Finally
, the ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
be restricted
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of family members, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
a single family can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and based on their gross incomes.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
severely
pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
their usages should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by promoting public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
, making laws strict, increasing fuel price and by creating awareness among mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicle be reduced? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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