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The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v.1

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 1
Nowadays, it is considered that having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. There is a new trend of having a diverse career and ways of earning money. The following essay will explain why people should have several careers in life and why they should keep learning. In the past, with the limited knowledge they had, it was impossible to have multiple careers. There were a lot of barrages and obstacles to learn and get educated compared to the present. They had less sources and opportunities because of the absence of Internet access. In modern times, people become more competitive and technology is progressing rapidly. Technology opens new avenues for us to learn anything if only we have enthusiasm and aspiration. The availability of more opportunities motivates us to have several careers. On the other hand, it is true that people are finding ways to increase their earnings by having more than one source of income. The standard and rising cost of living encourages us to do multiple jobs. Money can buy all the material items in life that creates happiness. If people have several careers and ways of earning money, they can easily fulfil their lives and take care of family. And it helps you to be financially secure. Last but not least, by doing multiple jobs, you can extend your knowledge in different industries and gain a lot of experiences In conclusion, people will find it difficult to live in a modern world just by having a single career.
Nowadays, it
is considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is becoming an
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
one. There is a new trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and ways of earning money. The following essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
in life and why they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
learning.

In the past, with the limited knowledge they had, it was impossible to have multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
barrages and obstacles to learn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated compared to the present. They had
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun sources is countable.
less
sources and opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the absence of Internet access. In modern times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more competitive and technology is progressing
rapidly
. Technology opens new avenues for us to learn anything if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
we have enthusiasm and aspiration. The availability of more opportunities motivates us to have several careers.

On the other hand
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are finding ways to increase their earnings by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more than one source of income. The standard and rising cost of living encourages us to do multiple jobs. Money can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the material items in life that creates happiness. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
and ways of earning money, they can
easily
fulfil their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and take care of family. And it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to be
financially
secure. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, by doing multiple jobs, you can extend your knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries and gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experiences

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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