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Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v.6

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 6
Excellent performance by employees in an organisation is usually rewarded in different ways and giving money to the best employee is a common trend in most of the organisations. Though this is a good way to motivate employees to work harder and better and engage in a positive competition, some people opine that this is not the best way to encourage employee. They think that there are better alternatives for this type of rewards. In my opinion money as a reward in combination with other motivations can be the best way for encouraging people to work harder. First of all, one of the main reasons people work in an office is money. No matter how cordially we deny the fact that we work for money, the reality is we need money to support our family, our personal needs and to live in this world. There are definitely other factors like job satisfaction, passion for work, working environment, career prospect, relationship with co-workers and bosses that determine whether an employee is motivated to work in an organisation or not but the money the employee gets at the end of each week or month is the main determining factor. From this regard, additional money as a reward for exceptional contribution by a staff is the best way to motivate him. Some people would argue that there are definitely better ways to motivate an employee for an exceptional performance like allowing extended holidays, giving crest, congratulating and praising. They also think that giving money to the employee of the month has a detrimental impact on others. I quite disagree with this opinion from my personal experience. I worked in a multinational company where more than 200 people worked. The best employee of the month used to get more than $600 and a certificate. This worked quite well as most of the employees in different teams wanted to be the employee of the month for the prestige and the money. I am pretty positive that other forms of rewards would have motivated employees for a short period but would not ignite the performance completion among employees in a long run. Again, I think that giving additional money to an employee for his work performance would not create any negative impact on others. Any form of rewards like a plane ticket, crest, certificate, holidays is quite restricted in terms of their utilisation while money would give the employee complete freedom on how to spend it.   For instance what if an employee wants to buy his mother a gift with the additional money he might earns- only money as a reward would ensure that. Finally, the motivations and encouragements are not universal and hence do not apply for all. This varies from person to person. While money can motivate the majority of the employees some of them might already have it in plenty and could find motivation from the praising and positive feedbacks from bosses. From this regards, congratulations from higher authority, certificate along with the money would be most effective to inspire workers to work even better in my opinion. I would like to conclude my essay saying that money with proper recognition for the best performing employee could be the best way to motive and inspire employees in an organisation to work smarter and harder.
Excellent
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performance
by
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employees
in an
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organisation
is
usually
rewarded in
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different
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ways
and
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giving
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money
to the
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best
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employee
is a common trend in most of the
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organisations
. Though this is a
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good
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way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivate
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employees
to
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work
harder and
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better
and engage in a
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positive
competition,
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some
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people
opine that this is not the
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best
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way
to encourage
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employee
. They
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think
that there are
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better
alternatives for this type of
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rewards
. In my opinion
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money
as a
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reward
in combination with
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other
motivations can be the
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best
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way
for encouraging
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people
to
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work
harder.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the main reasons
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people
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work
in an office is
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money
. No matter how
cordially
we deny the fact that we
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work
for
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money
, the reality is we need
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money
to support our family, our personal needs and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this world. There are definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors like job satisfaction, passion for
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work
, working environment, career prospect, relationship with co-workers and bosses that determine whether an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is motivated
to
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work
in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
the
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employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of each week or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
is the main determining factor. From this regard, additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
for exceptional contribution by a staff is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
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motivate
him.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
would argue that there are definitely
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better
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ways
to
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motivate
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
for an exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
like allowing extended holidays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
crest, congratulating and praising. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
has a detrimental impact on others. I quite disagree with this opinion from my personal experience. I worked in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where more than 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worked. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more than $600 and a certificate. This worked quite well as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
teams wanted to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
for the prestige and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I am pretty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
would have motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for a short period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would not ignite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
completion among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in a long run.

Again, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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giving
additional
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money
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
would not create any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on others. Any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
like a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
ticket, crest, certificate, holidays is quite restricted in terms of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
complete freedom on how to spend it.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
For instance
what if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
his mother a gift with the additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
he might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "earn"
earns
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
would ensure that.
Finally
, the motivations and encouragements are not universal and
hence
do not apply for all. This varies from person to person. While
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money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivate
the majority of the
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employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might already have it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
and could find motivation from the praising and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedbacks from bosses. From
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards, congratulations from higher authority, certificate along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would be most effective to inspire workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in my opinion.

I would like
to conclude
my essay saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
with proper recognition for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
could be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to motive and inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
smarter and harder.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
92Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
552 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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