Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v.2

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 2
Job hopping is relatively new trend. The concept of studying until a certain age and pursuing a single career afterwards is now passe. In my opinion, growing ambition and availability of new and exciting opportunities are the factors that encourage this trend. To begin with, people want to achieve more and more. They are not content with what they have and ambition encourages many people to change jobs frequently. For most people pursuing more than one career is the only way to achieve their ambition in life. For example, nowadays it is uncommon for doctors to work as lecturers at various institutes in their spare time. Everybody is exploring all possible ways of finding an extra source of income and to cater to the needs of these zealous job hoppers both online and offline skill development courses are available. Moreover, competition also encourages many adults to seek excellence in more than one area. Competition has become intense and people have to constantly update themselves with the latest materials and methods. Furthermore, Job security is no longer available in many sectors. People may lose their job anytime and to protect themselves against such catastrophic scenarios, they are working two or three jobs. No one wants to take chances with their financial security and stability. Last but not the least, we belong to an era of consumerism. The availability of more opportunities also motivates many enthusiasts to adopt multiple careers. For instance, in earlier times, there were very few jobs which were round-the clock jobs. But today, globalisation has brought in a multitude of options of working day and night. The line between day and night has become dim and people have become workaholics. To conclude, ambition and the lack of job security are the factors that drive people to pursue multiple careers. The availability of new opportunities just made this easier for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
hopping is
relatively
new trend. The concept of studying until a certain age and pursuing a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
afterwards is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
'passe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "passé"
passe
. In my opinion, growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
and availability of new and exciting opportunities are the factors that encourage this trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to achieve more and more. They are not content with what they have and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
encourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
frequently
. For most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pursuing more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
in life.
For example
, nowadays it is uncommon for doctors to work as lecturers at various institutes in their spare time. Everybody is exploring all possible ways of finding an extra source of income and to cater to the needs of these zealous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
hoppers both online and offline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development courses are available.

Moreover
, competition
also
encourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults to seek excellence in more than one area. Competition has become intense and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
constantly
update themselves with the latest materials and methods.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
security is no longer available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
anytime and to protect themselves against such catastrophic scenarios, they are working two or three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. No one wants to take chances with their financial security and stability.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, we belong to an era of consumerism. The availability of more opportunities
also
motivates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
enthusiasts to adopt multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
.
For instance
, in earlier times, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which were round-the clock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has brought in a multitude of options of working day and night. The line between day and night has become dim and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become workaholics.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
and the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security are the factors that drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pursue multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. The availability of new opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
made this easier for them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts