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The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v.5

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 5
One of the most conspicuous trends in today’s world is multiple careers. Some people believe that focusing on more than one career is like travelling on two boats at the same time. On the other hand, others argue that having spare career can help us earn more money in a short period of time. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend, this essay will explain why we should have more than one career. Firstly, change is the essence of nature and people also should acquire several careers to succeed in life; however, having an optional business will help to save money for future plans and live life king size. In addition, future is uncertain and planning ahead for the worst case scenario by second career is the best available option. For example, Tesla co-founder worked in two careers to earn enough money to launch his own company. Needless to say, optional revenue source is always helpful in adverse situations. Secondly, another pivotal aspect is that learning is a vicious circle and it never ends until we decide to end. Moreover, further studies will enhance our skills and improves focus and dedication to next level. Even at schools they teach extracurricular activities, where people can find their passion in secondary source of income from such activities. For instance, every teacher has more than one job like they work full time for any educational institutes and run tutorials to generate more income. Hence, earning money through more than one source make our future safe. In conclusion, we can clearly understand that focusing on just one career is outdated and to save huge savings two careers is the only best available option. Finally, the role of several careers is too dire to ignore.
One of the most conspicuous trends in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world is multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that focusing on more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is like travelling on two boats at the same time.
On the other hand
, others argue that having spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a short period of time. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why we should have more than one career.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the essence of nature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
should acquire several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
to succeed in life;
however
, having an optional business will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for future plans and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
king size
.
In addition
, future is uncertain and planning ahead for the worst case scenario by second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is the best available option.
For example
, Tesla co-founder worked in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to launch his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Needless to say, optional revenue source is always helpful in adverse situations.

Secondly
, another pivotal aspect is that learning is a vicious circle and it never ends until we decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Moreover
,
further
studies will enhance our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
focus and dedication to
next
level. Even at schools they teach extracurricular activities, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can find their passion in secondary source of income from such activities.
For instance
, every teacher has more than one job like they work full time for any educational institutes and run tutorials to generate more income.
Hence
, earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
through more than one source
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our future safe.

In conclusion
, we can
clearly
understand that focusing on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is outdated
and to save huge savings two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
best available option.
Finally
, the role of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
is too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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