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Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Agree or disagree. v.3

Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Agree or disagree. v. 3
These days many parents are buying expensive gifts for their children. While some argue that such gifts create a detrimental effect on them, I, however, agree with this view for two reasons. The primary reason why most parents should not buy such gifts is that children do not value it. To elucidate, the majority of teenagers do not give importance to such expensive gifts because they are not enough mature to handle it and could spoil it intentionally or unintentionally. Also, most children often get bored easily and do not use or touch them again. For example, a survey conducted by the Child Welfare Organisation in India found that 85% of teenagers do not see or use those expensive gifts again that are bought from their parents. Therefore, parents should not get such costly gifts for them. Another reason is getting addicted to buying such expensive gifts every time. It is true that once a child gets such costly gift they become addicted to having such valuable items in the future even though their parents do not financially sound. For instance, in China, 55% of children want expensive phones such as the latest version of the iPhone or the Samsung from their parents as they bought once from them earlier. Such habits not only does it spoil them, but also put mentally and financially pressure on their parents. Hence, they do not allow their children to get such costly gifts. In conclusion, although some are in the favour of buying valuable gifts for their children is good, I disagree with them as children do not value such presents, spoils them knowingly or unknowingly and lead to them to have always such gifts with them.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
create a detrimental effect on them, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view for two reasons.

The primary reason why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not value it. To elucidate, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not give importance to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
mature to handle it and could spoil it
intentionally
or
unintentionally
.
Also
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored
easily
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or touch them again.
For example
, a survey conducted by the Child Welfare
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
in India found that 85% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
again that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
for them.

Another reason is getting addicted to buying such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
every time. It is true that once a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
such costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
they become addicted to having such valuable items in the future
even though
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
financially
sound.
For instance
, in China, 55% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
phones such as the latest version of the iPhone or the Samsung from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
once from them earlier. Such habits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it spoil them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
put mentally and
financially
pressure on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Hence
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such costly gifts.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of buying valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, I disagree with them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not value such presents, spoils them
knowingly
or
unknowingly
and lead to them to have always such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
with them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents say that giving expensive gifts to a child can create bad habits in him/her. Agree or disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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