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The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v.3

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 3
It is argued that having one career nowadays is so old school. Others, state that in today's era people are encouraged to juggle in multiple jobs as well as seeking ways to earn more income and taking masters or PHD will still continue in our lifetime. I agree that people nowadays are inclined to create ways to earn more by working several jobs because of the increased demand of basic needs for survival. On one hand, everything was simple in the past. The economy was stable and having a single income for every person was enough. The reason behind this is because population at that time was not high compared to the present. The supply and demand of needs were stable. Therefore, everything was affordable, especially basic necessities. At present, everything became different due to the massive increase of population. Moreover, decrease supply of necessity due to higher demands triggered the economy's stability. Significant increase of commodity prices were experienced and in order to cope up with the problem, people started looking for means in order to increase their financial assets. A study that was conducted at New York University last 2019 revealed that 68% of the working class today have extra job and sideline just to cope up with their daily expenses and bills. Continuing Education has also become a beneficial role to expand a person's career. It became an edge of the working class who wants to seek alternative ways of increasing their income. In conclusion, having several careers partnered with continuing master's study will be a new phenomenon in today's modern society due to the fact that the economy is steadily growing. Moreover, in order for people to cope up, relying on one job at present is not an option. Finding other means of way to provide the needs for survival would be beneficial, especially in times of economic inflation.
It
is argued
that having one career nowadays is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
school. Others, state that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to juggle in multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as well
as seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to earn more income and taking masters or
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
PHD
will
still
continue in our lifetime. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
are inclined
to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to earn more by working several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increased demand of basic needs for survival.

On one hand, everything was simple in the past. The economy was stable and having a single income for every person was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. The reason behind this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
population at that time was not high compared to the present.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
supply and demand of needs were stable.
Therefore
, everything was affordable,
especially
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
.

At present, everything became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
due to the massive increase of population.
Moreover
, decrease supply of necessity due to higher demands triggered the economy's stability. Significant increase of commodity prices
were experienced
and in order to cope up with the problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
looking for means in order to increase their financial assets. A study that
was conducted
at New York University last 2019 revealed that 68% of the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and sideline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to cope up with their daily expenses and bills.

Continuing Education has
also
become a beneficial role to expand a person's career. It became an edge of the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
who wants to seek alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of increasing their income.

In conclusion
, having several careers partnered with continuing master's study will be a new phenomenon in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern society due to the fact that the economy is
steadily
growing.
Moreover
, in order for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cope up, relying on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at present is not an option. Finding other means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to provide the needs for survival would be beneficial,
especially
in times of economic inflation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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