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Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardles of thier previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardles of thier previous grades. v. 2
Teenagers and young adults spend a decent amount of their time on the Internet and the trend is staggering. Many believe that the excess use of the Internet is hampering social skills of the young adults. This essay will discuss how the Internet is destroying social skills of the children and what can be done to counter this problem. The Internet is affecting the speaking skills of the teenagers and young adults. The young adults spent their time on the Internet chatting through the text and this limit their exposure to the speaking. For example, Facebook, Whatsapp and Instagram are the most popular Apps among the teenagers and all three of them cite that the most users spent their time on the platform chatting through text. In addition, another important skill in communication is to adapt yourself as per the audience. However, teenagers have their own group where they chat with the similar age group people and people with the similar background. Hence, when they face an audience with totally different backgrounds they fail miserably. To address this issue, several steps can be taken. Firstly, parents/guardians need to limit the Internet usage for their kids. This will force them to spend their time elsewhere. For instance, make the young adults to visit their relatives and friends in person without having any access to the Internet. In this way, they will get the chance to get involved in face-to-face communication not only with same age group but also with adults. Therefore, they would be able to develop their social skills. To conclude, I will say that the Internet has not only brought many benefits over the period to the world, but also brought some negative aspects to the society. Hence, it is very important for parents to oversee their children so that the Internet does not affect their children's social skills such as communication.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
spend a decent amount of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the Internet and the trend is staggering.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that the excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the Internet is hampering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. This essay will discuss how the Internet is destroying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the children and what can
be done
to counter this problem.

The Internet is affecting the speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the Internet chatting through the text and this limit their exposure to the speaking.
For example
, Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
and Instagram are the most popular Apps among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and all three of them cite that the most users spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the platform chatting through text.
In addition
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in communication is to adapt yourself as per the audience.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
group where they chat with the similar age group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the similar background.
Hence
, when they face an audience with
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds they fail
miserably
.

To address this issue, several steps can
be taken
.
Firstly
, parents/guardians need to limit the Internet usage for their kids. This will force them to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
elsewhere.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to visit their relatives and friends in person without having any access to the Internet. In this way, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in face-to-face communication not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with same age group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
Therefore
, they would be able to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, I will say that the Internet has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits over the period to the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects to the society.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for parents to oversee their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the Internet does not affect their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as communication.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardles of thier previous grades. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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