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As populations grow and cities become more crowded, there is pressure through out the world to construct ever-taller building to provide accommodation and offices. Many people object to such developments, citing the social as well as the physical dangers v.1

As populations grow and cities become more crowded, there is pressure through out the world to construct ever-taller building to provide accommodation and offices. Many people object to such developments, citing the social as well as the physical dangers v. 1
It is often thought that walking is really significant to prevent medical problems. Although, there is a decrease in walking these days. In my point of view, I believe that it is really important to the lifestyle. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss what the cause is and what can be done to prevent this issue. The main reason for this is the development of the vehicles. This is because it is a lot easier and time saving, which makes it tempting to travel this way instead of walking. On top of that, it made the inhabitants idle that performing this way of travelling is a lot more work. For example, grocery shopping and bringing your children to school where done by foot in the past, although it has changed over the past few years. So that's why walking has become less these days. The solution to this can be to join a fitness club or a sport. The reason for this is to replace the half an hour walking, which is necessary to stay fit. For example, to join the gym makes it permitted to go, because of the monthly payments. This way you can push yourself to still be active during the week. All in all, it can keep your body healthy and make your mind refreshed to start the next day. To conclude, walking is really useful for the health. However, it can be seen that it has become really less, because of the facts that cars and busses are more simple to provide the journey. Therefore, it is clear that the improvement of automobiles has changed the moving. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted to register with the fitness club. In my opinion, I believe that is significant to stay healthy in your body.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that walking is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
significant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
medical problems.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there is a decrease in walking these days. In my point of view, I believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the lifestyle. In the
next
paragraphs, I will discuss what the cause is and what can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this issue.

The main reason for this is the development of the vehicles. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a lot easier and time saving, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it tempting to travel this way
instead
of walking.
On top of that
, it made the inhabitants idle that performing this way of travelling is a lot more work.
For example
, grocery shopping and bringing your children to school where done by foot in the past, although it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the past few years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why walking has become less these days.

The solution to this can be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a fitness club or a sport.
The reason for this is
to replace the half an hour walking, which is necessary to stay fit.
For example
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the gym
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it permitted to go,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the monthly payments. This way you can push yourself to
still
be active during the week. All in all, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your body healthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your mind refreshed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
next
day.

To conclude
, walking is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
useful for the health.
However
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that it has become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
less,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the facts that cars and busses are more simple to provide the journey.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the improvement of automobiles has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the moving. After thorough analysis on this subject, it
is predicted
to register with the fitness club. In my opinion, I believe
that is
significant to stay healthy in your body.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay As populations grow and cities become more crowded, there is pressure through out the world to construct ever-taller building to provide accommodation and offices. Many people object to such developments, citing the social as well as the physical dangers v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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