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Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.17

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 17
Health is very important for people of every country. In today’s world each person is concerned about the health of his/her loved ones. These days health related services are getting very expensive and every person cannot afford it. I agree with the above statement that every country should provide free health services to all citizens. At the outset, many people die because they do not have money to spend on their health as they are facing financial crisis or they do not have any income source. For instance, according to the report published by the USA doctors last year, 5, 290 people could not afford health services as a result they died. Additionally, people of every country pay taxes from their income to the government and thus they expect from the government. As health is a very important for every citizen, government should provide a free health service up to a limit of certain amount. Moreover, the government should provide free health services such as delivery of a child, general health care, free checkups, vaccinations and so on for the citizens, whereas there should be restrictions on expensive medical treatments such as cancer; heart attacks and so on. In a nutshell, free health services should be given to the citizens of every country by their government as many people cannot afford the medical services and it is also government who needs to look after that every citizen have the access to the health services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world each person
is concerned
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and every person cannot afford it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to all citizens.

At the outset,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have money to spend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as they are facing financial
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
crisis or
they do not have any income source.
For instance
, according to the report published by the USA doctors last year, 5, 290
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as a result
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
pay taxes from their income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
up to a limit of certain amount.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as delivery of a child, general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
checkups, vaccinations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
, whereas there should be restrictions on expensive medical treatments such as cancer; heart attacks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford the medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and it is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
who needs to look after that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
have the access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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