Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.4

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 4
It is now fairly common to exclude the age of a job applicant from an application form so that the selection of a candidate is not based on this criteria. I view this as a positive development. There are certain reasons that an employer may feel this is not a step in the right direction. The main one is that they may feel they need to know a person’s age because the job is not suitable for an older individual. This, for example, could be because they think there is a need to be very physically fit, such as work within the construction industry where heavy lifting is needed or other work where someone is expected to be very active all day. However, as a general rule it is better if rejection on the basis of age is not permitted. Although some jobs do need younger people, many employers will simply reject a candidate unfairly. For instance, they may simply be concerned about the image of the company and think a younger individual will fit the face of the company better even though an older person may be just as capable of carrying out the role. Another reason is that older people have things to offer employers that younger people may not be able to. If it is a job within a particular field, such as law or accountancy, then the older person will have many skills in this area through working on it for so long. In addition to this, they will also bring a wealth of life experiences that a younger person may not have, which is also beneficial to any role. All in all, it is therefore a positive development if employers cannot reject someone because of their age. Hopefully more countries will adopt this rule so older people have equal opportunities everywhere.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
fairly
common to exclude the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
applicant from an application form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the selection of a candidate is not based on
Did you mean "these"?
this
criteria. I view this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

There are certain reasons that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
may feel this is not a step in the right direction. The main one is that they may feel they need to know a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not suitable for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
individual. This,
for example
, could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there is a need to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
physically
fit, such as work within the construction industry where heavy lifting
is needed
or other work where someone is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active all day.

However
, as a general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
it is better if rejection on the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is not permitted. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
will
simply
reject a candidate
unfairly
.
For instance
, they may
simply
be concerned
about the image of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
individual will fit the face of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
better
even though
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as capable of carrying out the role.

Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have things to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not be able to. If it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
within a particular field, such as law or accountancy, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in this area through working on it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long.
In addition
to this, they will
also
bring a wealth of life experiences that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may not have, which is
also
beneficial to any role.

All in all, it is
therefore
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
cannot reject someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Hopefully
more countries will adopt this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have equal opportunities everywhere.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts