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Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. v.4

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. v. 4
It is undeniable that scientific research is imperative for a country’s development in this modern world. However, it is equally important to have a control in place as to who can carry out such research. To a larger extent, I agree that the government should have an upper hand when it comes to undertaking scientific research as they tend to be more people driven. There are various reasons why it is pivotal to have government-run research projects. To begin with, when research is carried out by the government, the motive behind is always people-driven and not money oriented. As a result, there is more transparency in the process and the need to invest in a quality research that benefits the general public also increases. Furthermore, a government is borne to be more responsible and has complete accountability when it comes to investing public money in such research. In contrast, private organizations are not people oriented and they tend to invest in research projects that are more profitable. In addition, when the funding comes from the same organization, the results could also be biased to ensure there is a favourable outcome to the funding institution. For example, companies that produce medicinal drugs are legally obliged to go through rigorous trials, which may take several years to complete. As private companies invest a lump sum of money in such studies, it is impractical for them to wait for a longer tenure to attain the expected results. Hence, there is a higher probability of the quality being compromised to make the research successful. In conclusion, carrying out and controlling scientific research is a contentious issue as transparency and openness are pivotal for a quality research. Undoubtedly, this is only possible if done by a non-profit organization like the government.
It is undeniable that scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is imperative for a country’s development in this modern world.
However
, it is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a control in place as to who can carry out such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. To a larger extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have an upper hand when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to undertaking scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
as they tend to be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
driven.

There are various reasons why it is pivotal to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
projects. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is carried
out by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, the motive behind is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
-driven and not money oriented.
As a result
, there is more transparency in the process and the need to invest in a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
that benefits the
Consider using "public".
general public
also
increases.

Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is borne
to be more responsible and has complete accountability when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to investing public money in such research.

In contrast
, private organizations are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
oriented and
they tend to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
projects that are more profitable.
In addition
, when the funding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the same organization, the results could
also
be biased
to ensure there is a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
outcome to the funding institution.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that produce medicinal drugs are
legally
obliged to go through rigorous trials, which may take several years to complete. As private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
invest a lump sum of money in such studies, it is impractical for them to wait for a longer tenure to attain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
results.
Hence
, there is a higher probability of the quality
being compromised
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
successful.

In conclusion
, carrying out and controlling scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is a contentious issue as transparency and openness are pivotal for a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Undoubtedly
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if done by a non-profit organization like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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