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Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. v.1

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. v. 1
Food is one of the most important ingredients that give energy to people, which might be produced naturally without fertilizers and machinery or with. Even though the quantity of food might be increased, unfortunately, the quality of it might be affected. This essay will describe the possibility of cheap production of food and the drawbacks from such production. One of the most conspicuous trends in the twenty-first century is that modern food can be produced with the help of superior machinery. Additionally, scientists created new fertilizers that certainly made the growing process faster.   These unnatural innovations dramatically improved production processes. The price of food has decreased and as a result, people can buy more food for the same amount of money. On the other hand, these advantages do not overweight drawbacks because people’s health have significantly being suffered from these new technological innovations and, especially, fertilizes. For instance, according to the recent statistic, the more people use fertilizes to grow the food, the more individuals suffer cancer. Furthermore, many babies were born with disabilities that might be due to the diet of their parents, particularly, the quality of food. To sum up, there is no doubt that there is a possibility of food production by using upgraded machines and new fertilizes. However, the quality of food dramatically decreases when people use these new modern improvements. I believe that the fast production of food cannot make people benefit from it. Moreover, these may bring only disadvantages for people, for example, more individuals suffering from cancer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ingredients that give energy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be produced
naturally
without fertilizers and machinery or with.
Even though
the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be increased
, unfortunately, the quality of it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the possibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the drawbacks from such production.

One of the most conspicuous trends in the twenty-
first
century is that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
be produced
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of superior machinery.
Additionally
, scientists created
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
fertilizers that
certainly
made the growing process faster.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
These unnatural innovations
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
processes. The price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has decreased and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the same amount of money.

On the other hand
, these advantages do not overweight drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health have
significantly
being suffered
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technological innovations and,
especially
, fertilizes.
For instance
, according to the recent statistic, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fertilizes to grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the more individuals suffer cancer.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
babies
were born
with disabilities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be due to the diet of their parents,
particularly
, the quality of food.

To sum up, there is no doubt that there is a possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
by using upgraded machines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
fertilizes.
However
, the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
dramatically
decreases when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
modern improvements. I believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
benefit from it.
Moreover
, these may bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for example
, more individuals suffering from cancer.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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