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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closing of all shops in town and cities Do you agree or disagree v.2

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closing of all shops in town and cities v. 2
The technologies revolution has affect all sectors, including shopping World, opening conversation and ways about the probability of increasing the online shopping in towns and cities, which I agree with the possibility of seeing much online shops around us. The reason of increasing the number of the online shop, because of the benefits that are provided either to consumers and retail store, for example the retail store will take advantages of not paying rent for local or store to display the items, also not required much manpower, and any other direct charge Like Tax, electricity, Water. Encouraging them to earn more and without following in failer Case, but they will miss the direct contact with clients for convincing and negotiating. As far for the consumers have many advantages too, the prices of products it’s cleared for all by using of searching services to compared with all other sealer prices, and for choosing items no more difficulty are presented, like moving to stores that are located in deferent and far area, as all pictures and video are online with all technical suspect needed, missing the feel with goods before buying it, whoever the e-commerce websites provided door to door delivery but in some situation lost the credibility of delivering time, with counting return policies not respectable from the sealer. In conclusion, online shopping has given the opportunity of finding products and owing them to the user in comfortable level, changing the idea of early consumer shopping method, the number of online shopping and serviced are increased with the development and changing of life style.
The
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "technologies'" or "technology's"?
technologies
revolution has affect all sectors, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
World, opening conversation and ways about the probability of increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in towns and cities, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the possibility of seeing much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops around us.

The reason of increasing the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shop,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the benefits that
are provided
either to consumers and retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
,
for example
the retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
will take advantages of not paying rent for local or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
to display the items,
also
not required much manpower, and any other direct charge Like Tax, electricity, Water. Encouraging them to earn more and without following in
Possible spelling mistake found.
failer
Case,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will miss the direct contact with clients for convincing and negotiating.

As far for the consumers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages too, the prices of products it’s cleared for all by using of searching services to compared with all other sealer prices, and for choosing items no more difficulty
are presented
, like moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
that
are located
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
deferent
and far area, as all pictures and video are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with all technical suspect needed, missing the feel with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying it, whoever the e-commerce websites provided door to door delivery
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation lost the credibility of delivering time, with counting return policies not respectable from the sealer.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity of finding products and owing them to the user in comfortable level, changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of early consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
method, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and serviced
are increased
with the development and changing of life style.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closing of all shops in town and cities v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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