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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closing of all shops in town and cities. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closing of all shops in town and cities. v. 3
It is argued that with the vast growth of online shopping majority of stores and outlets will decline. This essay disagree with this viewpoint. Firstly, the majority of consumers prefer to buy commodities from regular stores and secondly, online shopping has its limitations. Purchasing behaviour has always been connected with the touch and feel of the product. Many people like to try and demo the product prior to making a purchase. For instance, most garment stores provide a trail room for buyers to try the clothes and feel the look. Moreover, many consumers like to stop for coffee or soft snack while shopping that enriches their shopping experience. On the other hand, rise in technology pave the way for e-commerce businesses. There has been a tremendous growth in the number of online stores in the recent years offering a variety of products. Although online shopping businesses strive to attract consumers by their discounted offerings and plethora of products, but has not yet met consumers satisfaction due to limitations in delivering. For example, buying a perfume from an online store may take fewer clicks to conclude the purchase but may take weeks to receive the product. This is to say that online shopping is seen as a trend among young generation it is not yet considered the prime method of shopping by most consumers. In conclusion, online shopping is providing easier methods of purchasing goods, replacing the consumer experience of touch and feel of the product cannot go away and this will support shops not to close in cities and towns.
It
is argued
that with the vast growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and outlets will decline.
The verb 'disagree' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay disagrees"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay disagree
with this viewpoint.
Firstly
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
commodities from regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has its limitations.

Purchasing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
has always
been connected
with the touch and feel of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
demo the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
prior to making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
For instance
, most garment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
provide a trail room for buyers to try the clothes and feel the look.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
for coffee or soft snack while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
that enriches their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience.

On the other hand
, rise in technology pave the way for e-commerce businesses. There has been a tremendous growth in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in the recent years offering a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
businesses strive to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
by their discounted offerings and plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has not
yet
met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
satisfaction due to limitations in delivering.

For example
, buying a perfume from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
may take fewer clicks
to conclude
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may take weeks to receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a trend among young generation it is not
yet
considered the prime method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
by most consumers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is providing easier methods of purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
experience of touch and feel of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
cannot go away and this will support shops not to close in cities and towns.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closing of all shops in town and cities. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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