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many people have learned a foreign languages in their own country. others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. which is better? give the advantages of each and support your view points v.1

many people have learned a foreign languages in their own country. others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. which is better? give the advantages of each and support your view points v. 1
In recent years, more and more students tend to examination abroad. When pursuing educational opportunities overseas is widely considered as a life – transforming chance, students should take on a number of challenges. From my perspective, studying abroad brings some advantages and disadvantages to kids. Initially, studying abroad allows students to gain new knowledge sources of a new culture with a new language. Kids will have chances of interacting and communicating with a modern educational system. Because of spend more time on speaking another language, they can enhance their language skills. For example, today, various students aim to debate abroad in the USA, UK and Australia because they want to research in the best educational systems of the world. They also consider as good opportunities to live and work in these countries. It is not too difficult to realize that USA, UK and Australia have a great lifestyle. Lastly, international students can improve their soft skills, look for new cultures by participating in clubs, projects and activities with local people. Making friends from different background, overseas students can exercise and improve their social skills, an experience which is of great value to their careers later in life. During the overseas trips, kids will learn to live independently and take care of themselves. They have to complete everything without parents’ support. They might have to know how doing the housework, buy the groceries, even fix the furniture. Therefore, students should prepare these kills when they live with parents. Preparation plays a crucial role in the oversea trips and reduces cultures shock in some international kids. However, studying abroad is a difficult challenge because of some disadvantages. New students are often lack of experience so they easier be defrauded and stolen money from bad people. In some countries still occur racism and students can be bullied by local students. Failure to cope with the problems can make kids feel helpless, homesick and in worse cases, they have a breakdown. Last of all, if students do not get high scholarship, they often afford a high tuition and living fees. Kids should consider it and build a suitable spending plan. In conclusion, overseas trips create both chances and challenges. When people decide to class abroad to gain knowledge, experience independent lifestyle and have international friends, students should prepare some tips to deal with problems in new countries.
In recent years, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to examination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. When pursuing educational opportunities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
is
widely
considered as a life
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
transforming chance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take on a number of challenges. From my perspective, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages to kids.

Initially
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
knowledge sources of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
will have chances of interacting and communicating with a modern educational system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of spend more time on speaking another language, they can enhance their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
aim to debate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
in the USA, UK and Australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to research in the best educational systems of the world. They
also
consider as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in these countries. It is not too difficult to realize that USA, UK and Australia have a great lifestyle.
Lastly
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cultures by participating in clubs, projects and activities with local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Making friends from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
background,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can exercise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, an experience which is of great value to their careers later in life.

During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
trips,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
and take care of themselves. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
complete everything without parents’ support. They might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know how doing the housework,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the groceries, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the furniture.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should prepare these kills when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with parents. Preparation plays a crucial role in the oversea trips and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
cultures shock in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
international kids.

However
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is a difficult challenge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lack of experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they easier
be defrauded
and stolen money from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
still
occur racism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be bullied
by local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Failure to cope with the problems can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
feel helpless, homesick and in worse cases, they have a breakdown. Last of all, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high scholarship, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
afford a high tuition and living fees.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
should consider it and build a suitable spending plan.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
trips create both chances and challenges. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
to gain knowledge, experience independent lifestyle and have international friends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tips to deal with problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
countries.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay many people have learned a foreign languages in their own country. others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. which is better? give the advantages of each and support your view points v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
393 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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