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Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this sol v.9

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this sol v. 9
Nowadays, many people prefer online shopping for conventional shopping. Although there are numerous advantages of online shopping, it also has many disadvantages. People usually choose online shopping because it is more convenient. They can go shopping whenever they want as the websites are always open for them. They can find whatever they want by searching the product on the websites. When it comes to comparing prices, they only need to find the website that sells the product at the lowest price. Another benefit of online shopping is that there are websites like Honey which provide discounts and free gift cards that help them saving money. Online shopping also benefits people who hate crowds and prefer privacy, they don't have to feel embarrassed about buying something they like or stress out being surrounded by people. As for the disadvantages, people can not use the product immediately as it will take days or even weeks for delivery. Also, people cannot see the product in person, the product they receive may not match with the photo they saw. Additionally, the return policies are different for every website. If you want to return a product, you will not be paid for the shipping charges. Besides, there are lots of illegitimate websites that steal personal information like credit card details and phone numbers. In the end, online shopping may bring more trouble than convenience. In conclusion, online shopping brings a lot of benefits, but it is not the perfect method for a conventional shopping as there are risks of facing identity theft or fraud.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
for conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Although there are numerous advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
usually
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more convenient. They can go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
whenever they want as the websites are always open for them. They can find whatever they want by searching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
on the websites. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to comparing prices, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
that sells the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at the lowest price. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is that there are websites like Honey which provide discounts and
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "gift".
free gift
cards that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
The verb 'gift' is used with an infinitive: "to save" or "save".
saving
money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
also
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who hate crowds and prefer privacy, they don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
feel embarrassed about buying something they like or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
out
being surrounded
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

As for the disadvantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
immediately as it will take days or even weeks for delivery.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in person, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
they receive may not match with the photo they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
.
Additionally
, the return policies are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
. If you want to return a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, you will not
be paid
for the shipping charges.
Besides
, there are lots of illegitimate websites that steal personal information like credit card
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and phone numbers. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
may bring more trouble than convenience.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the perfect method for a conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of facing identity theft or fraud.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this sol v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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