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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.6

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 6
It is argued that, someday online purchases will replace all the shopping places in urban areas. There are number of factors for which I strongly oppose this notion. This essay will provide appropriate reasons with illustrations to support my claim. There is no system of checking the quality in online shopping. Often, the item needs to be replaced which is wasteful of time and energy. Online platforms like amazon and alibaba showcase a variety of products. It becomes difficult to choose from the range of options. Once I ordered a pair of shoes from alibaba and I was disappointed after receiving them. The size of one of the pairs was wrong and the colors of the shoes did not fulfill my expectation. In contrast, a jogging shoe bought from a nearby shop allowed me to try them before I made the purchase. This made me realize that, better quality products are often purchased with physical presence rather online. Undoubtedly virtual shopping presents an amazing alternative to normal shopping. However, this is not as amusing as the visit to malls and absence of bargaining with the sales person makes it boring. For instance, after winning the argument and finally settling on the price that is sought present an extraordinary feeling. Moreover, the window-shopping, the long walks around the market and sudden encounter with someone known often refreshes the mood. On the contrary, ordering books from online save lots of time. So, both online and offline shopping are equally important in our lives. In conclusion, while shopping online is time-saving but it is not as satisfying as conventional approach. Despite its increasing demand and usage it can never entirely substitute regular shops from our society.
It
is argued
that, someday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
will replace all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
places in urban areas. There are number of factors for which I
strongly
oppose this notion. This essay will provide appropriate reasons with illustrations to support my claim.

There is no system of checking the quality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, the item needs to
be replaced
which is wasteful of time and energy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
platforms like
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
alibaba
showcase a variety of products. It becomes difficult to choose from the range of options. Once I ordered a pair of shoes from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alibaba and
I
was disappointed
after receiving them. The size of one of the pairs was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and the colors of the shoes did not fulfill my expectation.
In contrast
, a jogging shoe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from a nearby shop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me to try them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I made the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. This made me realize that, better quality products are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
with physical presence
rather
online.

Undoubtedly
virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
presents an amazing alternative to normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
However
, this is not as amusing as the visit to malls and absence of bargaining with the sales person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it boring.
For instance
, after winning the argument and
finally
settling on the price that
is sought
present an extraordinary feeling.
Moreover
, the window-shopping, the long walks around the market and sudden encounter with someone known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
refreshes the mood.
On the contrary
, ordering books from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
save lots of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is time-saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not as satisfying as conventional approach. Despite its increasing demand and usage it can never
entirely
substitute regular shops from our society.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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