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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.21

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 21
Nowadays, online shopping is getting greater every day which will cause in closed shops in all towns and cities. This essay will present reasons and examples for that. Often, people work very long and are tired afterwards. That is why they don’t want to go into the city for shopping. Lying on the couch while searching for new trousers is way more comfortable than walking from shop to shop. For instance, black Friday is characterised for being stressed because of traffic jam and crowded people. On the internet, you are able to shop bargains with the privilege of avoiding stress Moreover, people don’t have time anymore. Long working days are often followed by planned free time. For example, going to the gym, meeting friends by coffee, visiting concerts etc. Therefore, finding time for shopping can be difficult, when it is not your hobby number one. That is why it is handy to be able to compare different trousers from different online shops while sitting in the train or cuddling with your boyfriend in the bed. It saves time to spend it on activities you really enjoy. For instance, if you want to see different T-shirts from different brands, you are often forced to go to different shops and take photos to compare them. If you shop on your computer, you can open websites of different online shops which makes comparing easier and often it is cheaper. To sum up, shops in towns and cities will close, because of our fast life style. We work long and want to spend as much time as possible on our free time. Therefore, online shopping is more efficient and comfortable.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is getting greater every day which will cause in closed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in all towns and cities. This essay will present reasons and examples for that.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long and
are tired
afterwards.
That is
why they don’t want to go into the city for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Lying on the couch while searching for new trousers is way more comfortable than walking from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
For instance
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
black Friday
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'characterised' is British English.
characterised
for being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of traffic jam and crowded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. On the internet, you are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
bargains with the privilege of avoiding
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stress


Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
anymore. Long working days are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
followed by planned free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, going to the gym, meeting friends by coffee, visiting concerts etc.
Therefore
, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can be difficult, when it is not your hobby number one.
That is
why it is handy to be able to compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
trousers from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
while sitting in the train or cuddling with your boyfriend in the bed. It saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend it on activities you
really
enjoy.
For instance
, if you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
T-shirts from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
brands, you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forced to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and take photos to compare them. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
on your computer, you can open websites of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
comparing easier and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
it is cheaper.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities will close,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
life style. We work long and want to spend as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as possible on our free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is more efficient and comfortable.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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