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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disgree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience v.12

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disgree? 12
The world is evoluting and there is an increase  in the purchase of items online. It has been said by some that the growth of buying things from the internet will lead to the closure of all shops in towns, however, I entirely disagree with this statement as I believe that physical stores will never be fazed out. Firstly, there is a high risk of buying fake and substandard items when ordering online which is not the case with physical stores as the ability to physically see your purchases is a form of control. The online sellers tend to display high quality and beautiful  items to get the attention of the unsuspecting potential customers and when the products are delivered it turns out to be different from what was ordered. For example, a friend of mine ordered a waist trimmer from an online store and when it was delivered, it turned out that the quality of the fabric was completely different from what was displayed online. A complaint was laid to the store and they claimed there was no difference in the items delivered, in the end, her money was not  returned and it turned out to be a waste. This would have been totally prevented if she had bought this trimmer from a walk in store. Also, Shops in towns can not be completely closed  down as some set of people would rather go there as a form of bonding and recreational activities with friends and family. Going shopping is seen as an activity that people look forward to  and time is taken to properly plan this out. Activities for the day can include; shopping with friends, trying clothes out, catching up on latest gists and having lunch. For instance, a cousin of mine recently went to shop for her Prom dress, it was glaring from her pictures and status updates that she had lots of fun as she had set out a whole day with her friends for this activity. This will not have being possible if they had shopped online. In conclusion, this essay argued that while online stores are good, they cannot faze out walk in stores. Thus, in my opinion, I disagree with the fact that shops in towns will be closed down in the forseeable future as they help bond families and reduce risk of buying fake products.
The world is
Possible spelling mistake found.
evoluting
and there is an increase
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It has
been said
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the growth of buying things from the internet will lead to the closure of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns,
however
, I
entirely
disagree with this statement as I believe that physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will never
be fazed
out.

Firstly
, there is a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of buying fake and substandard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
when ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
which is not the case with physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
as the ability to
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
is a form of control. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sellers tend to display high quality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attention of the unsuspecting potential customers and when the products
are delivered
it turns out to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what
was ordered
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
of mine ordered a waist trimmer from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and when it
was delivered
, it turned out that the quality of the fabric was completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what
was displayed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. A complaint
was laid
to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
store and
they claimed there was no difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
delivered, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, her money was not
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
returned and it turned out to be a waste. This would have been
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
if she had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
this trimmer from a walk in store.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shops
in towns can not be completely closed
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
down as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
rather
go there as a form of bonding and recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family. Going shopping is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
look forward to
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and time
is taken
to
properly
plan this out.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Activities
for the day can include; shopping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, trying clothes out, catching up on latest
Possible spelling mistake found.
gists
and having lunch.
For instance
, a cousin of mine recently went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
for her Prom dress, it was glaring from her pictures and status updates that she had lots of fun as she had set out a whole day with her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. This will not have being possible if they had shopped online.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, they cannot faze out walk in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
Thus
, in my opinion, I
Consider using "disagree that".
disagree with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns will
be closed
down in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
forseeable
future as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
bond families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of buying fake products.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disgree? 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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