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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

There was an age and time when customers used to go to the shop and now shop arrives at one's screen. With the advent of world wide web internet connectivity many things can be performed online and shopping is one of them. Consequences of increasing online shopping can be many. I agree to an extent that shops in towns and cities can be affected and can lead to its closure, provided that shop owners also make some innovation. Numerous daily neccessary things can be bought online through some specific web portals. Almost anything one can buy online these days. It is irrefutable fact that these online shopping trend is on its rise and especially younger generation prefers it. Things directly arrive at one's doorstep without any worries. Some time and fuel can be saved by purchasing online. It seems that this growth of online shopping will lead to the closure of traditional shops. However, if shop owners innovate some new ideas in their shops and adds it to the shopping experience of shoppers they can thrive in the market. For example, starting the pick-up service for customers by phone or by website, home delivery and paying online. Keeping their customers happy by giving them the best service. On the other hand some tangible things like clothes will never go 100% online because of its requirement. To conclude, online shopping is growing and will grow for sure, however closing of the traditional shops in towns and cities will not take place completely. Innovation in the shopping experience and some tangible commodities that will never go 100% online, will make stand the shops in the competition.
There was an age and time when customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
arrives at one's screen. With the advent of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
internet connectivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things can
be performed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is one of them. Consequences of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to an extent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and can lead to its closure, provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innovation.

Numerous daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
things can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific web portals. Almost anything one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
these days. It is irrefutable fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
trend is on its rise and
especially
younger generation prefers it. Things
directly
arrive at one's doorstep without any worries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time and fuel can
be saved
by purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It seems that this growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will lead to the closure of traditional shops.

However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners innovate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
it to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience of shoppers they can thrive in the market.
For example
, starting the pick-up service for customers by phone or by website, home delivery and paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Keeping their customers happy by giving them the best service.
On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tangible things like clothes will never go 100%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its requirement.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is growing and will grow for sure,
however
closing of the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities will not take place completely. Innovation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tangible commodities that will never go 100%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
stand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the competition.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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