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Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. v. 1
Nowadays, university education has become a form of commercial business. bit is often thought by many that students who come from low economic background and rural communities certainly face many challenges during their enrollment time in reputed Universities. However, I would completely agree with those who opine that tertiary education centres should revive the policies which avail such people get admission without having any trouble. To begin, Firstly, it is not surprising that many tertiary education centres reserved seats for students who come from more affluent family because they pay huge amount of money but rather than following this concept universities should allot seats for students come from impoverished family with higher grades. In other words, most of students from poor family and rural background face many issues while getting admission. so universities should deliberately reserve some seats for those who could not pay the fees. For instance, a recent survey conducted in Kuvempu University shows that seventy percent of Seats are allocated for rural students with good score. so this would be a great idea to make university admission easier for students. Secondly, universities should not demand from rural students to get higher academic scores from thier previous class. in other words many tertiary education centres set demanded that students should have higher than 60 percentage from their previous class. for instance in Mumbai, KVM universities allowed rural students admission for engineering course who secured more than sixty percent in physical and chemistry. So this is a rediculous policy they must drop out. Thus students can get easier admission in such institutions. To conclude, undoubtedly, university education become more luxurious for countryside side people who come from nonaffiliated family. i agree that universities should reverse places and they should not demand and consider thier scores this might make more easier to get enrolled in tertiary education centres.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has become a form of commercial business.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bit
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from low economic background and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities
certainly
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges during their enrollment time in reputed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
.
However
, I would completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
opine that tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should revive the policies which avail such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
without having any trouble.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
Firstly
, it is not surprising that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
reserved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from more affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they pay huge amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
than following this concept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should allot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with higher grades.
In other words
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
background face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues while getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
deliberately
reserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
could not pay the fees.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kuvempu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that seventy percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Seats
are allocated
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
this would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
easier for students.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should not demand from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher academic scores from
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
previous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
set demanded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have higher than 60 percentage from their previous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance in Mumbai, KVM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
for engineering course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
secured more than sixty percent in physical and chemistry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
rediculous
policy they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
drop out.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in such institutions.

To conclude
,
undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
become more luxurious for countryside side
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
nonaffiliated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should reverse
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
places and
they should not demand and consider
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
scores this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled in tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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