Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.37

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 37
Shops in the metropolis will in the nearest future close down as a result of growing internet shopping. I totally agree with this statement because not only does shopping online save time, but it is also convenient. Online shopping has in recent times been the trend for extremely busy individuals because it saves the time spent on commuting to the shop. In other words, individuals with busy schedules who cannot visit the conventional stores opt for online buying. Take for instance, a banker, who works approximately twelve hours a day, can use the application on her phone to shop for groceries, and it will be brought to her office. Meaning she does not have to go to the market after work. With this, ample time is saved. Therefore, buying goods online brings about prompt delivery for individuals who are extremely busy and less patronage to stores. Additionally, buying goods on the internet is convenient. This means one does not have to leave the comfort of the home in order to make purchases. For example, my neighbour suffers from arthritis- a degenerative disease of the bone- and he lives alone. He orders his medication online because of its convenience, and it is delivered to his doorstep. In this case, he does not miss taking his medication because there is no one to help him buy it from the store around the corner. Therefore, purchasing goods on the net is convenient as one can easily receive content in the comfort of the home. In conclusion, I completely agree that conventional stores will soon be overtaken by internet shopping because of timely delivery and the convenience it brings.
Shops in the metropolis will in the nearest future close down
as a result
of growing internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
convenient.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
been the trend for
extremely
busy individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it saves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on commuting to the shop.
In other words
, individuals with busy schedules who cannot visit the conventional stores opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
buying. Take
for instance
, a banker, who works approximately twelve hours a day, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the application on her phone to shop for groceries, and it will
be brought
to her office. Meaning she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the market after work. With this, ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is saved
.
Therefore
, buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
brings about prompt delivery for individuals who are
extremely
busy and less patronage to stores.

Additionally
, buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
on the internet is convenient. This means one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the comfort of the home in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.
For example
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
suffers from arthritis- a degenerative disease of the bone- and he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
alone. He orders his medication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience, and it
is delivered
to his doorstep.
In this case
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not miss taking his medication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it from the store around the corner.
Therefore
, purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
on the net is convenient as one can
easily
receive content in the comfort of the home.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that conventional stores will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be overtaken
by internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of timely delivery and the convenience it brings.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 37

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts