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More people live alone today than they did in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples to support your view. v.1

More people live alone today than they did in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples to support your view. v. 1
Nowadays, more people are living alone than ever before. I believe that this is a positive change because it enormously reduces our dependence on others and improves our ability to handle a crisis, and both of these skills are vital for personal development. To begin with, the tendency of living without the company of anyone is beneficial because it stops us from becoming dependent on our friends and the family. That is to say, that people who live alone do not take any assistance with regards to housing, living or monetary affairs from their relatives, and this develops them into independent personalities and improves their self-reliance, an essential quality which has been witnessed among various influential people. For instance, an article published in the Forbes stated that 70% of the people, who can influence the masses, have a history of living alone. Furthermore, this evolution in men’s and women’s living creates the mastery of handling critical problems with maximum efficiency. By staying without any companion, individuals are forced to do house chores by themselves, and this equips them with various skills such as cooking and cleaning. Therefore, in case of any employment loss or any financial crisis, they can utilise such expertise to recover. For example, research conducted by the University of Oxford concluded that 80% of the young employees who live alone take up cookery work after losing their regular jobs, which prevents them from becoming bankrupt. In conclusion, this essay opines that the trend of living alone is productive progress because this makes people independent of relations, and this makes them talented enough to cope with any crisis.
Nowadays, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
enormously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
our dependence on others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our ability to handle a crisis, and both of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are vital for personal development.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of anyone is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
us from becoming dependent on our friends and the family.
That is
to say, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
do not take any assistance
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
housing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
or monetary affairs from their relatives, and this develops them into independent personalities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their self-reliance, an essential quality which has
been witnessed
among various influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, an article published in the Forbes stated that 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who can influence the masses, have a history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone.

Furthermore
, this evolution in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s and women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
creates the mastery of handling critical problems with maximum efficiency. By staying without any companion, individuals
are forced
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores by themselves, and this equips them with various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as cooking and cleaning.
Therefore
, in case of any employment loss or any financial crisis, they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
such expertise to recover.
For example
, research conducted by the University of Oxford concluded that 80% of the young employees who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
take up cookery work after losing their regular jobs, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from becoming bankrupt.

In conclusion
, this essay opines that the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is productive progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
independent of relations, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them talented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cope with any crisis.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More people live alone today than they did in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples to support your view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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