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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.36

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 36
It is irrefutable that nowadays people are more inclined towards online shopping which might close down all shops in developed cities. I disagree with the given statement that shopping online will close down all shopping centres eventually. A number of arguments support my opinion. To begin with, it is important to verify and check costly things before buying it. This is because to buy vital things it is necessary to look for any damages, which usually in online shopping you do not know how your product will turn up until it is delivered. This leads to people going into shops and buy things which are important to them as they are spending a lot of money on it. For example, usually people do not buy gold online and tend to prefer going into a jewellery shop, so that they can check for the authenticity of the gold and get a guarantee card. Secondly, sometimes it becomes crucial for people to try out things before buying. To explain it further, usually youngsters love to wear and see if it suits them before they buy things. To illustrate, there are trial rooms in shopping malls where one can try out their favourite clothes and also look for fitting. This option is usually not provided by online shopping apps. Another example to explain is that overweight people would like to try out clothes of their size which will fit them properly. To sum up, although online shopping has been growing very fast, I disagree that this might lead to vanishing of shopping centres eventually as there is a need to authenticate and to try out things before buying it.
It is irrefutable that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
which might close down all shops in developed cities. I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will close down all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
eventually
. A number of arguments support my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to verify and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
costly things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
buying it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
vital things it is necessary to look for any damages, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
you do not know how your product will turn up until it
is delivered
. This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going into shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them as they are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on it.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
gold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and tend to prefer going into a
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
shop,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
for the authenticity of the gold and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a guarantee card.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it becomes crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to try out things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
buying. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to wear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if it suits them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things. To illustrate, there are trial rooms in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls where one can try out their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
clothes and
also
look for fitting. This option is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
not provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
apps. Another example to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
is that overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to try out clothes of their size which will fit them
properly
.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has been growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, I disagree that this might lead to vanishing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
eventually
as there is a need to authenticate and to try out things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
buying it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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