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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.22

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 22
No one can deny the fact that there is a growing concern that increasing demand for e-shopping would lead to the closure of actual shops in cities and towns. I disagree with this view because shoppers are not able to purchase all their requirements through the internet, and sometimes the delivery time is not guaranteed when they buy from virtual shops. To begin with, many online shopping sites do not offer convenient methods to select matching sizes when people order clothes in particular. This is because some brands do not follow standard sizes when they label their products which may mislead the shopper. For instance, an online survey suggests that the majority of the customers on eBay are not satisfied with their size selection after receiving the item, and they claim that the actual size of the item is different from what they supposed to receive. Therefore, since physical shopping stores have the option to fit-on before buying clothes, their demand will not be deteriorated in the future. In addition, the delivery of online purchases depends on many factors which make the shopper visit a real shop to fulfill their immediate requirements. This means, even though e-shopping has made easy for people to select a wide range of items, the distribution date of the product will depend on a third party delivery company. Besides, sometimes delivery goes beyond the original estimation dates owing to the high demand for purchases, and customers will be disappointed about the internet shopping as a result. Items that come from overseas sellers, for example, are relying on external factors such as the airline and the domestic courier service. In conclusion, since shops on the internet are not able to make their customers happy due to inaccurate sizes as well as not meeting original delivery dates, the popularity of street shops and shopping malls will not be reduced.
No one can deny the fact that there is a growing concern that increasing demand for e-shopping would lead to the closure of actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in cities and towns. I disagree with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
shoppers are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
all their requirements through the internet, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
time is not guaranteed when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from virtual shops.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
sites do not offer convenient methods to select matching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sizes
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
order clothes
in particular
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brands do not follow standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sizes
when they label their products which may mislead the shopper.
For instance
, an online survey suggests that the majority of the customers on eBay are not satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
selection after receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
, and they claim that the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what they supposed to receive.
Therefore
, since physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
stores have the option to fit-on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying clothes, their demand will not
be deteriorated
in the future.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
of online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the shopper visit a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to fulfill their immediate requirements. This means,
even though
e-shopping has made easy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to select a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, the distribution date of the product will depend on a third party
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
goes beyond the original estimation dates owing to the high demand for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, and customers will
be disappointed
about the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a result
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Items
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from overseas sellers,
for example
, are relying on external factors such as the airline and the domestic courier service.

In conclusion
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
on the internet are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their customers happy due to inaccurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sizes
as well
as not meeting original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
dates, the popularity of street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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