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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 2
Owing to the increasing trend of shopping online, it is argued by some that this will eventually result in stores in major cities and suburbs shutting down. In my opinion, I agree that online shopping will one day lead to the closing down of shops because of the convenience of buying from them and also the variety of options it provides. Firstly, the main reason why online shopping is taking the forefront over purchasing from local stores is because it is more convenient. To put in another way, buying items off the internet is time saving as one can easily purchase goods at the touch of a button without stepping outside their doors. Furthermore, it is energy saving as time that could have been spent moving from store to store in search of a particular item would be diverted into doing something more productive. For example, online stores like amazon, kindle have not only made shopping more fun, but also without stress. Another point to consider is that online stores offer a variety of items to their customers. That is there are loads of options to select from without needing to move from shop to shop in search of a particular item as would have been the case in shops because they may not offer everything the client could need at that point in time. I remember having to visit not less than five stores in search of a blue shoe i needed in 2015 but ever since i became aware of online shopping i do not need to enter any shop in order to get items of my choice. To conclude, as a result, of the convenience and time saving effects derived from shopping through the internet, one can say without a doubt that shops will close down real soon.
Owing to the increasing trend of
shopping
online
, it
is argued
by
some
that this will
eventually
result in
stores
in major cities and suburbs shutting down. In my opinion, I
agree
that
online
shopping
will one day lead to the closing down of
shops
because
of the convenience of buying from them and
also
the variety of options it provides.

Firstly
, the main reason why
online
shopping
is taking the forefront over purchasing from local
stores
is
because
it is more convenient. To put in another way, buying
items
off the internet is
time
saving as one can
easily
purchase
goods
at the touch of a button without stepping outside their doors.
Furthermore
, it is energy saving as
time
that could have
been spent
moving from
store
to
store
in search of a particular
item
would
be diverted
into doing something more productive.
For example
,
online
stores
like
amazon
, kindle have not
only
made
shopping
more fun,
but
also
without
stress
.

Another point to consider is that
online
stores
offer a variety of
items
to their customers.
That is
there are loads of options to select from without needing to
move
from
shop
to
shop
in search of a particular
item
as would have been the case in
shops
because
they may not offer everything the client could need at that point in
time
. I remember having to visit not less than five
stores
in search of a blue shoe
i
needed in 2015
but
ever since
i
became aware of
online
shopping
i
do not need to enter any
shop
in order to
get
items
of my choice.

To conclude
,
as a result
, of the convenience and
time
saving effects derived from
shopping
through the internet, one can say without a doubt that
shops
will close down real
soon
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 2

Essay
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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