Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v.14

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 14
There is no doubt that online market, increasing drastically. While some think network shopping will lead to kill general purchase. I am not convinced; will discuss further why I am denying with the statement. On one hand, Due to comfort online shopping improve business. Moreover, plenty of options available so that consumer has lots of options to select. While browsing online, time and energy will save. Furthermore, No need to spend time on journey or driving, simply sit at home and complete purchasing. For example, a recent survey conducted by amazon in my home town, 80% youth preferred to do online shopping rather than manual. With these reasons online giving tough competition to regular business. On the other hand, few of them interested to do regular shopping. Still, we can’t do online business for all the purposes. Like movies and restaurants. When we watch the movie in a hall with peers look and feel is different. Furthermore, when we go for a hotel to drink a small cup of tea along friends or colleagues, the refreshment is different. Moreover, few of them interested to go out and purchase things whatever they want. Like that, they would like to meet or wish other people instead of sitting at home. With these reasons still regular shopping will be there, but their market may decrease. To avoid loss they need to have new plans to attract more customers. In conclusion, Online shopping increases its share when compare to regular. But, regular purchases will exist and continue forever.
There is no doubt that
online
market, increasing
drastically
.
While
some
think
network
shopping
will lead to kill general
purchase
. I am not convinced; will discuss
further
why I
am denying
with the statement.

On one hand, Due to comfort
online
shopping
improve
business.
Moreover
,
plenty
of options available
so
that consumer has lots of options to select. While browsing
online
, time and energy will save.
Furthermore
, No need to spend time on journey or driving,
simply
sit at home and complete purchasing.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by
amazon
in my home town, 80% youth preferred to do
online
shopping
rather
than manual. With these reasons
online
giving tough competition to
regular
business.

On the other hand
, few of them interested to do
regular
shopping
.
Still
, we can’t do
online
business for all the purposes. Like movies and restaurants. When we
watch
the movie in a hall with peers look and feel is
different
.
Furthermore
, when we go for a hotel to drink a
small
cup of tea along friends or colleagues, the refreshment is
different
.
Moreover
, few of them interested to go out and
purchase
things whatever they want. Like that, they would like to
meet
or wish other
people
instead
of sitting at home. With these reasons
still
regular
shopping
will be there,
but
their market may decrease. To avoid loss they need to have new plans to attract more customers.

In conclusion
,
Online
shopping
increases its share when compare to
regular
.
But
,
regular
purchases
will exist and continue forever.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts