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More people are spending their free time watching movies. Why is this? Is it a good thing or bad thing? v.2

In recent times, an increasingly large number of people are opting to watch movies in their leisure time because movies provide entertainment and relaxation. In my opinion, it is a positive trend, as long as it is done in moderation. To begin with, watching movies is considered by many as the perfect way to unwind after a hard day at work. Elaborating further, most of the people these days have a hectic schedule and stressful jobs, and they look forward to the ways through which they can relax their mind and body. In their opinion, movies not only entertain them but also help them forget their tensions and worries. Besides this, there are no physical or mental efforts required to watch movies which again makes them the most preferred choice since the majority of the jobs nowadays are challenging and require a lot of efforts. In my view, watching movies is definitely a good idea as it gives people the much-needed break from their regular strenuous routine. What’s more, many people watch movies with their family and friends, making it a social activity. However, one should not spend all their free time watching movies. They need to take out some time for doing exercise as well. Since many people spend most of their time to watch movies they are left with no time to exercise and thus develop health problems at a young age. To recapitulate, watching movies in one’s free time has gained popularity in recent times because people consider it as the perfect way to relax. I believe that it is a positive development which helps people to socialize and gives them a break from their monotonous schedule. Nevertheless, people should ensure that they are not spending inordinate amounts of time watching movies.
In recent
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times
, an
increasingly
large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are opting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
provide entertainment and relaxation. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend, as long as it
is done
in moderation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as the perfect way to unwind after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day at work. Elaborating
further
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days have a hectic schedule and stressful jobs, and they look forward to the ways through which they can relax their mind and body. In their opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
entertain them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them forget their tensions and worries.
Besides
this, there are no physical or mental efforts required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them the most preferred choice since the majority of the jobs nowadays are challenging and require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts.

In my view, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is definitely a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the much-needed break from their regular strenuous routine. What’s more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with their family and friends, making it a social activity.
However
, one should not spend all their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. They need to take out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for doing exercise
as well
. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
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watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to exercise and
thus
develop health problems at a young age.

To recapitulate, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in one’s free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has gained popularity in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it as the perfect way to relax. I believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to socialize and gives them a break from their monotonous schedule.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should ensure that they are not spending inordinate amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
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IELTS essay More people are spending their free time watching movies. Why is this? Is it a good thing or bad thing?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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