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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities close. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities close. v. 1
With the advancement in technology, the dynamics of daily lives have been altered significantly. In a recent phenomenon, an overwhelming increase in E-commerce has been observed. While some believe that traditional shopping will retain its significance, I side with those who believe in imminent future shops will make physical shopping obsolete because of the benefits they entail for customers and corporates. On the one hand, purchasing online provides hassle-free experience for buyers. To clarify, in this hyper-paced and competitive environment, taking time-out and travelling to Shopping malls are laborious tasks, especially in metropolitan cities. While I concede that conventional business provides instant access to products, express deliveries are now being introduced by many online sellers to overcome this grave concern. Amazon, for instance, has started delivering goods by using drones for instant deliveries. Secondly, this form of ventures also provide a range of options to clients which is often not possible in traditional businesses due to time restrictions. On the other hand, corporates are equally benefiting from this advancement. They have been changing their strategic direction from physical existence of online. First, in the conventional form, companies have to invest a hefty amount in developing infrastructure since many brands require central or high street locations. Although I acknowledge that establishing an online setup also require more or less equal amount of investment, the cost is only one-time, not recurring. Secondly, contrary to traditional stores, online shops can operate with minimum workforce and still enjoy massive reach without any boundaries. Therefore, chances to get success are much brighter in comparison to other conventional business. To conclude, not only does eCommerce facilitate consumers in a much better way, it is also advantageous for companies. Therefore, on balance, I believe that shops will overcome conventional businesses.
With the advancement in technology, the dynamics of daily
lives
have
been altered
significantly
. In a recent phenomenon, an overwhelming increase in E-commerce has
been observed
. While
some
believe that traditional shopping will retain its significance, I side with those who believe in imminent future shops will
make
physical shopping obsolete
because
of the benefits they entail for customers and
corporates
.

On the one hand, purchasing
online
provides hassle-free experience for buyers. To clarify, in this hyper-paced and competitive environment, taking time-out and travelling to Shopping malls are laborious tasks,
especially
in metropolitan cities. While I concede that
conventional
business provides instant access to products, express deliveries are
now
being introduced
by
many
online
sellers to overcome this grave concern. Amazon,
for instance
, has
started
delivering
goods
by using drones for instant deliveries.
Secondly
, this form of ventures
also
provide a range of options to clients which is
often
not possible in traditional businesses due to time restrictions.

On the other hand
,
corporates
are
equally
benefiting from this advancement. They have been changing their strategic direction from physical existence of
online
.
First
, in the
conventional
form,
companies
have to
invest a hefty amount in developing infrastructure since
many
brands require central or high street locations. Although I acknowledge that establishing an
online
setup
also
require more or less equal amount of investment, the cost is
only
one-time, not recurring.
Secondly
, contrary to traditional stores,
online
shops can operate with minimum workforce and
still
enjoy massive reach without any boundaries.
Therefore
, chances to
get
success are much brighter
in comparison
to other
conventional
business.

To conclude
, not
only
does
eCommerce
facilitate consumers in a much better way, it is
also
advantageous for
companies
.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe that shops will overcome
conventional
businesses.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities close. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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