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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities. v. 1
There has been significant changes in online marketing that has increased the number of people opting for online shopping. Some people even think that this drastic drift towards online shopping can lead to the closing of all shops in towns and cities one day. In my opinion, even thought web based shopping is trending, there will always be a section of people who will find comfort in going to shops physically for shopping. Admittedly, online shopping is preferable for many people now-a-days. This is majorly due to busy work schedule of massed and advantages of getting products delivered while sitting at home or working in an office. Also, there is a large variety and options available to choose from across different websites. Moreover, online marketing and various schemes remind people to buy things that they didn't even plan for. Despite above mentioned benefits of online shopping, there are many challenges along with it. The website has their own product delivery time frames, whereas, i can easily go to the market and shop as per my convenience. Also easy trials and physical presence of the product increases reliability of consumers. For example, I always prefer buying cloths offline. I will visit different shops, try different shops, try the dresses on and even check the quality which satisfies me from all aspects before actually buying it. Buying offline is also a recreational activity for few as people will tend to hang out with loved ones along with shopping. Although, online shopping saves a lot of time the tendency of masses to go to offline options will never end due to easy accessibility, reliability and goodwill of traders.
There has been significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketing that has increased the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this drastic drift towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can lead to the closing of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities one day. In my opinion, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
web based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is trending, there will always be a section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who will find comfort in going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
physically
for shopping.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is preferable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days. This is
majorly
due to busy work schedule of massed and advantages of getting products delivered while sitting at home or working in an office.
Also
, there is a large variety and options available to choose from across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
websites.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketing and various schemes remind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that they didn't even plan for.

Despite above mentioned benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges along with it. The website has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
product delivery time frames, whereas,
Did you mean "I"?
i
can
easily
go to the market and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
as per my convenience.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
easy trials and physical presence of the product increases reliability of consumers.
For example
, I always prefer buying cloths offline. I will visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, try the dresses on and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality which satisfies me from all aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
actually buying it. Buying offline is
also
a recreational activity for few as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will tend to hang out with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones along with shopping.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time the tendency of masses to go to offline options will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
due to easy accessibility, reliability and goodwill of traders.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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