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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in in towns and cities closing. v. 1
Our expeditiously transforming world has entered into a technological era. The proliferating growth of online stores has affected a prodigious chunk of the society and thus dwindling the attraction towards the brick and mortar shops in towns and cities. Hence, I agree to the point that it may lead to their closing. To embark on this idea, there are various reasons which have led to this change. The prominent one being convenience. Online portals give the advantage of shopping at anytime and anywhere. It saves a lot of time as we can easily order grocery while travelling in the cab or metro after office. Without any hassle the items reach home before we do. Apart from this, the plethora of options available in online shopping allures a lot of customers. From bridal wear to kitchen spices everything is available at our fingertips. Moving forward, another significant advantage of using online platform is the affordable cost. The huge discounts and offers lures the customers to buy more. Without the laborious task of travelling and then bargaining for the best price, we can get it with cashback offers in just a few clicks. Moreover, the easy return and exchange facility diminish the doubts about the product. On this, few might express hesitation about buying expensive items online. The concern might include trust about the quality and authenticity of the commodity, but the warranty provided might suffice this too. Concluding this debate, we might say that every coin has two sides, but the salient and significant benefits of online shopping overpower the minute disadvantages, making them trivial. With this outlook and shape of society, I profoundly agree that the prevailing growth of online shopping will lead to the closing of physical shops.
Our
expeditiously
transforming world has entered into a technological era. The proliferating growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
a prodigious chunk of the society and
thus
dwindling the attraction towards the brick and mortar shops in towns and cities.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the point that it may lead to their closing.

To embark on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, there are various reasons which have led to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. The prominent one being convenience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
portals give the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at anytime and anywhere. It saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time as we can
easily
order grocery while travelling in the cab or metro after office. Without any hassle the items reach home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we do. Apart from this, the plethora of options available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
allures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
customers. From bridal wear to kitchen spices everything is available at our fingertips.

Moving forward, another significant advantage of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platform is the affordable cost. The huge discounts and offers lures the customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more. Without the laborious task of travelling and then bargaining for the best price, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it with cashback offers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks.
Moreover
, the easy return and exchange facility diminish the doubts about the product. On this, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
express hesitation about buying expensive items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The concern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
include trust about the quality and authenticity of the commodity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the warranty provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
suffice this too.

Concluding this debate, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
say that every coin has two sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the salient and significant benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
overpower the minute disadvantages, making them trivial. With this outlook and shape of society, I
profoundly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the prevailing growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will lead to the closing of physical shops.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in in towns and cities closing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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