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The graphs below show where people first got their news both about the world and about local events between 1987 and 1997 v.1

The graphs below show where people first got their news both about the world and about local events between 1987 and 1997 v. 1
Nowadays, the development of the Internet and technology have provided many opportunities for student around the world to attend a class where it is not compulsory to attend in person. These programs are mostly introduced by universities and educations globally, many online courses are available due to the need of students, causing more great opportunities for students to learn. However, there are both pros and cons to learning online courses. I will start by looking at the advantages, the biggest benefit of the online training courses is flexible to choose your own time. Students do not need drive or take a taxi to class instead of sitting at home to study in their own time and especially for free. This helps you save money and time, which you invest in online learning. Secondly, it cannot be denied that the programs are extremely convenient. Students can just stay in their pyjamas while doing their homework and activities for the day, similarly studying in a familiar environment can make it easier to concentrate and complete assignments. Alternatively, if they only have some spare minutes, they could also use that time to complete an assignment on their phone or laptop. Turning to the other side of the argument, online learning is a major problem. The first reason is students can easily be lazy when taking an online course if they are not self-conscious. It’s because online learning doesn’t require a fixed timetable which is compulsory in traditional classroom instruction, therefore, they can study whenever ones want. Another additional disadvantage of one is students can be easily distracted by many things when learning online. Most students tend to open common social websites such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc, to update them on information as well as sign in Messenger to chat with friends when they are online. Once they are sunk in the information that they get from these websites, it will be very hard for them to concentrate on their studies and they will waste a lot of time on doing nothing related to the lessons. The last one is online learning requires a computer and easy access to the Internet connection. However, their studies can be interrupted by the disconnected networks. This will make them feel discouraged and they may turn off the computer before completing their lessons. All things considered, there are both strengths and weaknesses to this way for learning the online courses. In spite of the fact that it may be convenient for some people, it can’t totally replace traditional teaching in classrooms. Personally, I believe that the benefits in terms of online learning eventually outweigh any negatives.
Nowadays, the development of the Internet and technology have provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
around the world to attend a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
where it is not compulsory to attend in person. These programs are
mostly
introduced by universities and educations globally,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are available due to the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, causing more great opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn.
However
, there are both pros and cons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses.

I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by looking at the advantages, the biggest benefit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is flexible to choose your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
do not need drive or take a taxi to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
instead
of sitting at home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
especially
for free. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you save money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which you invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Secondly
, it cannot
be denied
that the programs are
extremely
convenient.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'pyjamas' is British English.
pyjamas
while doing their homework and activities for the day,
similarly
studying in a familiar environment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier to concentrate and complete assignments.
Alternatively
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spare minutes, they could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to complete an assignment on their phone or laptop.

Turning to the other side of the argument,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is a major problem. The
first
reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
be lazy when taking an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
if they are not self-conscious. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
doesn’t require a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
timetable which is compulsory in traditional classroom instruction,
therefore
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
whenever ones want. Another additional disadvantage of one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be
easily
distracted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to open common social websites such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc, to update them on information
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in Messenger to chat with friends when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Once they
are sunk
in the information that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from these websites, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to concentrate on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
they will waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on doing nothing related to the lessons. The last one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
requires a computer and easy access to the Internet connection.
However
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
can
be interrupted
by the disconnected networks. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
discouraged and
they may turn off the computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
completing their lessons.

All things considered, there are both strengths and weaknesses to this way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that it may be convenient for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it can’t
totally
replace traditional teaching in classrooms.
Personally
, I believe that the benefits in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
eventually
outweigh any negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay The graphs below show where people first got their news both about the world and about local events between 1987 and 1997 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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