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q5. The man wants to take a year off. Describe the man's problem and the two solution. State which solution do you prefer and why. v.1

q5. The man wants to take a year off. Describe the man's problem and the two solution. State which solution do you prefer and why. v. 1
It is true, the development of the internet is gateway to make shopping is the most important regular activity among people. Some people argue that, It depends on the maturity than any other factors. I completely agree with this statement, this essay will explain the reasons for it. Firstly, proliferation of developing networking and e-marketing sites increasing gradually. This means that, online shopping sources have all kinds of things, which have new trend designs, due to people like to order, what wish to buy as well as it's easy to get the order at home without wasting time. For instance, e-bay and Amazon website has all kinds of items with different styles for all age groups. However, online shopping and social media have been marketing thing, which is attractive to buy it by any age group, without any physical touch on the products. Another point to consider is that, most of the youngsters and teenagers know how to use the internet instead of elder people. It would advertise the product for attracting to buy the products. For example, Facebook, which is most popular social network among the world, gathers the data from easy profiles and displaying an advertisement regarding they like. thus Internet usage has been helping people to buy the product only consider ages without considering any factors. In conclusion, the development of online shopping platforms and social media has been motivating youngsters and teenagers to buy a product only based on age group rather than a thing about essential items for the future.
It is true, the development of the internet is gateway to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
regular activity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that, It depends on the maturity than any other factors. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons for it.

Firstly
, proliferation of developing networking and e-marketing sites increasing
gradually
. This means that, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
sources have all kinds of things, which have new trend designs, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to order, what wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
as well
as it's easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the order at home without wasting time.
For instance
, e-bay and Amazon website has all kinds of items with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.
However
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and social media have been marketing thing, which is attractive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it by any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group, without any physical touch on the products.

Another point to consider is that, most of the youngsters and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet
instead
of elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It would advertise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for attracting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, Facebook, which is most popular social network among the world, gathers the data from easy profiles and displaying an advertisement regarding they like.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
thus
Internet usage has been helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
without considering any factors.

In conclusion
, the development of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
platforms and social media has been motivating youngsters and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
rather
than a thing about essential items for the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay q5. The man wants to take a year off. Describe the man's problem and the two solution. State which solution do you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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