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The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
In my opinion, the relaxation of the dress code at work is a worrying development. Although it goes without saying that employers should prioritise the quality of their staff’s performance, I think that dressing smartly at work is essential and I will outline my reasons below. The main reason why employers need to pay more attention to the way their staff dress is because casual clothes give a very bad first impression of the company, whereas formal clothes convey an image of respectability and trustworthiness, two qualities which are important in so many professions that involve face-to-face interaction with members of the public. One illustration of this is in the banking sector. It is the responsibility of a manager to ensure that customers feel confident that their money is in safe hands. A smart suit suggests that if the staff care about their appearance, then they will take care of your investment too. On the other hand, just because someone dresses well, it does not necessarily guarantee that they are good at their job, and vice versa. In my workplace, for example, the best teachers are often the ones that care more about how to teach well than how to dress well, and their students never seem to notice what they are wearing. There are also many creative professions where trendy clothes convey a sense of style and individuality, which is very desirable in many companies. To conclude, an employee’s ability to perform well in their job has to be the highest priority in any profession. However, the need to wear uniform smartly and appropriately should also be an important consideration in many workplaces. Personally, if I was paying large amounts of money to a teacher in flip-flops who looked as if they had just got up, I would have serious concerns about that person’s attitude towards their work and their ability to teach me effectively.
In my opinion, the relaxation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code at work is a worrying development. Although it goes without saying that employers should
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the quality of their staff’s performance, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that dressing
smartly
at work is essential and I will outline my reasons below.

The main reason why employers need to pay more attention to the way their staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
casual clothes give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
first
impression of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, whereas formal clothes convey an image of respectability and trustworthiness, two qualities which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions that involve face-to-face interaction with members of the public. One illustration of this is in the banking sector. It is the responsibility of a manager to ensure that customers feel confident that their money is in safe hands. A smart suit suggests that if the staff care about their appearance, then they will take care of your investment too.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
, it does not
necessarily
guarantee that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at their job, and vice versa. In my workplace,
for example
, the best teachers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the ones that care more about how to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
than how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
, and their students never seem to notice what they are wearing. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creative professions where trendy clothes convey a sense of style and individuality, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
desirable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

To conclude
, an employee’s ability to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in their job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be the highest priority in any profession.
However
, the need to wear uniform
smartly
and
appropriately
should
also
be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workplaces.
Personally
, if I was paying large amounts of money to a teacher in flip-flops who looked as if they had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
up, I would have serious concerns about that person’s attitude towards their work and their ability to teach me
effectively
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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