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The graph shows level of online shopping by age group for different times of the day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The graph shows level of online shopping by age group for different times of the day.
Test or exam is a tool for measure knowledges or the abilities of students. Basic examination such as pen and paper exam have been the standard evaluation for a long time, but the others argue that it cannot the only way to assess intelligent of human. In this essay, I believe there are the other way to gauge the ability of students. Teacher and professor usually have used paper exam to evaluate knowledge of their student before and after learning. Paper exam is the basic tool and easy to assess. People who do well in exam normally wise or clever than the other or have a more diligent because they have to read many books to prepare the test. Furthermore, this test has developed for the long time and have many types. For instance, the multi-choice exam can evaluate basic knowledge quickly and writing-exam can check the deep knowledge of learners. However, some people who not good on paper-exam, it does not mean they are not cleaved. On the others hand, some people can do good in speaking or by doing. Nowadays, many researchers who are studying in the human cognition report that our learning is so different. Some people may be good to learn by listening, while someone good to learn by doing. Moreover, many jobs cannot learn from only theoretical book but need to learn it with a project such as “Artist, Musician, or designer”. These groups of people cannot evaluate their ability by paper test but their work. Similar to the paper-exam, it is not a worldwide examination to gauge every person In conclusion, paper-test are the good exam but it cannot evaluate every skill of human. Therefore, if it has the other way, such as group project or etc. Which likely more effective, we can use it and adapt in teaching. However, it do not mean who is good at the examination will successful, it is their life, there is a lot of skill that did not teach in college or university but have to learn in real life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Test
or exam is a tool for measure
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
or the abilities of students. Basic examination such as pen and paper exam have been the standard evaluation for a long time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the others argue that it cannot the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to assess intelligent of human. In this essay, I believe there are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
way to gauge the ability of students.

Teacher and professor
usually
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
paper exam to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evaluate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of their student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after learning. Paper exam is the basic tool and easy to assess.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do well in exam
normally
wise or
Use "cleverer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
clever
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
or have a more diligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books to prepare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
.
Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
has developed for the long time and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types.
For instance
, the multi-choice exam can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evaluate
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
quickly
and writing-exam can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of learners.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
on paper-exam, it does not mean they are not cleaved.

On the others hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do
The usual preposition for this expression is "at". Did you mean, "good at speaking"?
good in speaking
or by doing. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are studying in the human cognition report that our learning is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
by listening, while someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
by doing.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theoretical book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it with a project such as “Artist, Musician, or designer”. These groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evaluate
their ability by paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their work. Similar to the paper-exam, it is not a worldwide examination to gauge every
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
person


In conclusion
, paper-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
exam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evaluate
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of human.
Therefore
, if it has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
way, such as group project or etc. Which likely more effective, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and adapt in teaching.
However
, it
Did you mean "does"?
do
not mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at the examination will successful, it is their life, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that did not teach in college or university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in real life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph shows level of online shopping by age group for different times of the day.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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