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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and ex v.182

The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and ex v. 182
In most of the countries today, the parents are allowed, to choose their children either in single-sex or or co-educational schools. However, some people think that children will face a lot of problems in future if they study in the single-sex schools, and I completely agree to this. On the one hand, the children will not have good communication skills with the opposite sex. In the other words, the children will have hesitated in taking to other people, so the teenagers will not be brave enough. For instance, in the India, the youngsters suffer a lot when they go to a workplace, where they have to meet the opposite sex. The individuals will not raise up their voice in the crowd, even if they have any ideas. Even though the students are brilliant enough, in some situations the students, who studied in co-education become dominant. The doctors and scientists have also medically proved, that then youth is smarter only when they merge with the society. Especially, the children take good decisions only when they have knowledge about the society. In my opinion, the children should have good knowledge in all the areas, then only in a work culture they can work with other sex without any hesitation. Additionally, the teenagers will take independent decisions in their life, and they will be ready to face any issues in their life. To conclude, the education gives the students more knowledge, but the youngster will get the bravery and boldness only when with educating themselves with the other sex. The government should take action in making all the schools as co-educational schools.
In most of the countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the parents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
, to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
either in single-sex
Possible typo: you repeated a word
or or
co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems in future if they study in the single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have hesitated in taking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will not be brave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
For instance
, in the India, the youngsters suffer a lot when they go to a workplace, where they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. The individuals will not raise up their voice in the crowd, even if they have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

Even though
the students are brilliant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations the students, who studied in co-education become dominant. The doctors and scientists have
also
medically
proved, that then youth is smarter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when they merge with the society.
Especially
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when they have knowledge about the society.

In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge in all the areas, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in a work culture they can work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
without any hesitation.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will take independent decisions in their life, and they will be ready to face any issues in their life.

To conclude
, the education gives the students more knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the youngster will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the bravery and boldness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when with educating themselves with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take action in making all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and ex v. 182

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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