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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries v.2

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries v. 2
The following chart demonstrates differences in the population rate among elderly people from 65 and over since 1940 and there is also given a predictable rise until 2040 in the USA, Sweden and Japan. It is clear from the graph that the number of old aged people in all three countries is expected to have an upward trend. Now turning to the details, first 20 years saw a gradual rise in the amount of elderly people in the USA and Sweden as opposed to a gradual decrease by almost 2% in Japan. According to the graph, we can see that there was a significant increase of old aged people by just over 5% in the USA and Sweden between 1960 and 1980, while the percentage of old Japaneses stayed constant and remained at 3%. Before a steady growth at 14%, almost until 2018, the proportion of American elderly people decreased slightly by 2% in 1995. The old aged population rate in Japan, in contrast rose by 2% in 2000, by reaching the same level as in 1940. It is interesting that since 2000 the amount of old people in Japan has increased moderately and 2030 is predicted to see a dramatic growth and will peak at 25%. Next 20 years in the USA are expected to see a gradual rise in scale of old people, which will reach almost 23%, while before a gradual growth in 2025, the old people scale in Sweden will decrease slightly by approximately 5%. Overall, in the future is predicted that a longevity among elderly people will increase in the USA, Sweden and Japan.
The following chart demonstrates differences in the population rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from 65 and over since 1940 and there is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a predictable rise until 2040 in the USA, Sweden and Japan.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all three countries is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to have an upward trend.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
first
20 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
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gradual
rise in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the USA and Sweden as opposed to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gradual
decrease by almost 2% in Japan.

According to the graph, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there was a significant increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 5% in the USA and Sweden between 1960 and 1980, while the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
Japaneses stayed constant and remained at 3%.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
a steady growth at 14%, almost until 2018, the proportion of American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decreased
slightly
by 2% in 1995. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
aged population rate in Japan,
in contrast
rose by 2% in 2000, by reaching the same level as in 1940.

It is interesting that since 2000 the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Japan has increased
moderately
and 2030
is predicted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a dramatic growth and will peak at 25%.

Next
20 years in the USA are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gradual
rise in scale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which will reach almost 23%, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gradual
growth in 2025, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
scale in Sweden will decrease
slightly
by approximately 5%.

Overall
, in the future
is predicted
that a longevity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will increase in the USA, Sweden and Japan.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries v. 2

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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