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More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, car and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.3

More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, car and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 3
There is no denying that nowadays modern civilization trend to use well-known brands in their daily life. There are main tow facts behind on this situation. Advertisement and to show off the luxurious. In my opinion this is negative development. To specify in recent period peoples are believing the concept advertising by the product company. Some time peoples are influenced by the other persons to buy the brand items. In other hand they don' t want to observe or analyze about the products. For example: In my country, Bangladesh, peoples are using the I Phone rapidly rather than other phone. Even though they are not getting good facilities from them but still using it impact by others persons and company advertisement. However, there is other main reason is luxurious. Some time peoples want to show off their wealthy by using the brand items just like, Mercerize and Ferrari. They feel proud in-front of peoples having a brand clothes, watch and perfume. This kind of luxurious can' t be count as development. For example; In India most people loved to use brand items but there are some place where peoples don' t know how to write, even their not able to eat properly in a day. So it can' t not be count as development. In addition, most European country are the best example for this fact. In conclusion, human must be award about what they' re using or buying. They should know what is advantage or disadvantage. Government must take the responsibility for the company and take care the situation to make the peoples life easier and safe.
There is no denying that nowadays modern civilization trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
in their daily life. There are main tow facts behind on this situation. Advertisement and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off the luxurious. In my opinion this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

To specify in recent period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are believing
the concept advertising by the product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are influenced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
persons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
items. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t want to observe or analyze about the products.
For example
: In my country, Bangladesh,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are using
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "I"?
the I
Phone
rapidly
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
phone.
Even though
they are not getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities from them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
using it impact by others persons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
advertisement.

However
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
main reason is luxurious.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their wealthy by using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like, Mercerize and Ferrari. They feel proud in-front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
clothes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and perfume. This kind of luxurious
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t be count as development.
For example
; In India most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t know how to write, even their not able to eat
properly
in a day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t not be count as development.
In addition
, most European country are the best example for this fact.

In conclusion
, human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using a past participle here: "awarded".
award
about what
Possible spelling mistake found.
they&
#039; re using or buying. They should know what is advantage or disadvantage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the responsibility for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and take care the situation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "peoples'" or "people's"?
peoples
life easier and safe.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, car and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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