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The graph below shows the number of graduates from the Higher College of Technology for men and women in the year 1999. v.1

The graph below shows the number of graduates from the Higher College of Technology for men and women in the year 1999. v. 1
Changes in life are inevitable and although some people think that it can benefit them, others consider that everything ought to be the same. In my opinion, I believe that it can bring about more advantages compared to any drawbacks it might bring. There are two main benefits that can be acquired from change, which are new abilities and knowledge. This is because of the fact that they have to try new things or activities that they have never tried to attempt previously, hence allowing them to achieve new skills and experiences. For instance, in 1980, when the first automated machine was introduced, The Indian Government decided to change their educational objective to force the younger generation to learn computer subjects, which has resulted them to be the current global leading technology country. Therefore, if the India's government chose to live in a stagnant life, it will be very unlikely for the country to be successful. Nevertheless, constant updates mean that people are continuously required to adjust their environments. This change can be challenging for some people, especially for introverts, as they have to be exposed with a new surrounding and location. Researchers discovered that immigrants who migrated to a new country will at least spend six months in different cities prior calling their new place as home and another year before having a new group of friends. In conclusion, having to obtain new skills and knowledge far outweighs any of the minor disadvantages that could result from any changes that might occur in life.
Changes
in life are inevitable and although
some
people
think
that it can benefit them, others consider that everything ought to be the same. In my opinion, I believe that it can bring about more advantages compared to any drawbacks it might bring.

There are two main benefits that can
be acquired
from
change
, which are
new
abilities and knowledge. This is
because of the fact that
they
have to
try
new
things or activities that they have never tried to attempt previously,
hence
allowing them to achieve
new
skills
and experiences.
For instance
, in 1980, when the
first
automated machine
was introduced
, The Indian
Government
decided to
change
their educational objective to force the younger generation to learn computer subjects, which has resulted them to be the
current
global leading technology country.
Therefore
, if the India's
government
chose to
live
in a stagnant life, it will be
very
unlikely for the country to be successful.

Nevertheless
, constant updates mean that
people
are
continuously
required to adjust their environments. This
change
can be challenging for
some
people
,
especially
for introverts, as they
have to
be exposed
with a
new
surrounding and location. Researchers discovered that immigrants who migrated to a
new
country will at least spend six months in
different
cities prior calling their
new
place as home and another year
before
having a
new
group of friends.

In conclusion
, having to obtain
new
skills
and knowledge far outweighs any of the minor disadvantages that could result from any
changes
that might occur in life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the number of graduates from the Higher College of Technology for men and women in the year 1999. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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