Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph below shows the availability of various sweeteners in the USA from 1966 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The graph below shows the availability of various sweeteners in the USA from 1966 to 2012.
There are as many as 230 countries in the world. All of them distinguish from each other by several aspects like size, population and developments, particularly in such areas like medicine, discipline, and marketing, which play important parts in illustrating the level of development of a country. As not all states can afford improvements in these fields, I believe that richer one's should take care of such countries partially. Governments of some countries claim that it is not their responsibility and, moreover, they have their own problems. However, there are several problems that had better to be sorted out in early stages. For example, a new virus called "Zika" is spreading gradually all over the world. If other not affected countries do not help affected countries immediately, the consequences will be catastrophic. literacy is another point to take into consideration. Some countries do not have enough resources to supply and encourage learning. It is a real barrier for those who have a strong desire to study. So richer countries could discover bright minds among people of poorer countries by providing free teaching. People who got such study could then work in the countries which paid their education. Another reason why richer states refuse helping to other ones is fear. For example, developed countries try to weaken developing or underdeveloped countries that could be potential competitors for them. For example, most African countries are rich of diamond mines, but they cannot extract diamonds because of financial insufficiency. Countries that are able to provide these countries with essential materials could find a trade partner and cheap source of raw materials. By the way of conclusion, the rich countries could aid the poorer ones in the name of their own prosperity. In my opinion, it is just immoral to watch helpless people doing nothing, whereas it is possible to do something for them.
There are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as 230
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world. All of them distinguish from each other by several aspects like size, population and developments,
particularly
in such areas like medicine, discipline, and marketing, which play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts in illustrating the level of development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. As not all states can afford improvements in these fields, I believe that richer one's should take care of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
partially
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
claim that it is not their responsibility and,
moreover
, they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems.
However
, there are several problems that had better to
be sorted
out in early stages.
For example
, a new virus called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Zika
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is spreading
gradually
all over the world. If other not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
immediately, the consequences will be catastrophic.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
literacy
is another point to take into consideration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to supply and encourage learning. It is a real barrier for those who have a strong desire to study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could discover bright minds among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by providing free teaching.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
such study could then work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which paid their education.

Another reason why richer states refuse helping to other ones is fear.
For example
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
try to weaken developing or underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that could be potential competitors for them.
For example
, most African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are rich of diamond mines,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot extract diamonds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of financial insufficiency.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
that are able to provide these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with essential materials could find a trade partner and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
source of raw materials.

By the way of conclusion, the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could aid the poorer ones in the name of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
prosperity. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
immoral to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
helpless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing nothing, whereas it is possible to do something for them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the availability of various sweeteners in the USA from 1966 to 2012.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts