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The bar chart below shows the exporting rate of 4 different types of fruit in the USA, Mexico and South Africa in 2012, measured by tons. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The bar chart below shows the exporting rate of 4 different types of fruit in the USA, Mexico and South Africa in 2012, measured by tons.
It is irrefutable that city life is becoming more popular, nowadays. But it is argued that city life is not good for people's health. However, I have parted with this occurrence. There are some reasons why it is considered that city life is harmful for individual health. First and foremost reason is that the level of pollution is very high in cities. To put it simply, people facing many pollution related problems when they live in cities. For instance, the ratio of noise pollution as well as air pollution is increasing day by day in the cities. Which is not beneficial for human being's health because it creates many health decease like headache as well as lung problem. All in all this is the reason which depicts that city life is not good for living. On the other hand, living in a city is good in some ways. Moreover, in cities, people do not face any difficulty in poor health condition. As a reason, in cities, huge number of hospitals are available for giving better treatment to patients. For example, in Bathinda, a number of health care centres available and some hospitals give free medicine or treatment to patents which helps people a lot. For this reason, it is evidence that city life is good for living. To summarize, city life is harmful to individuals, but beneficial in some ways. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of city life is bad for people's health is cannot be supported. After though analysis on this subject, it is predicted that if people well do not live in cities, then it is difficult to get a better treatment in a critical condition.
It is irrefutable that city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is becoming more popular, nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
is argued
that city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
, I have parted with this occurrence.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why it
is considered
that city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is harmful for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
First
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. To put it
simply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
related problems when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, the ratio of noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
as well
as air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is increasing day by day in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Which is not beneficial for human being's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
decease like headache
as well
as lung problem. All in all this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which depicts that city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for living.

On the other hand
, living in a city is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Moreover
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not face any difficulty in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, huge number of hospitals are available for giving better treatment to patients.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bathinda
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
available and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hospitals give free medicine or treatment to patents which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a lot. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, it is evidence that city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for living.

To summarize
, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is harmful to individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is cannot
be supported
. After though analysis on this subject, it
is predicted
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
well do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, then it is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better treatment in a critical condition.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart below shows the exporting rate of 4 different types of fruit in the USA, Mexico and South Africa in 2012, measured by tons.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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