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The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012.
It is argued by some that critical to ensuring safety on our road is the reduction of speed limits in automobiles, while others are of the opinion that they are many other profitable ways to address this. In my opinion, putting in place punitive measures to reckless driving and ensuring vehicles that are not road worthy are off the road will guarantee safety on the highways. On the one hand, some are of the opinion that reducing speed limits in vehicles will help keep the highway free from accidents as a result of the increasing risk posed by over speeding, which accounts for about 20% of commercial vehicular crash. Drivers of commercial vehicles are always in a hurry to get to their destination in order to make more trips and increase turnover. In addition, installation of a speed limiting device would compel drivers to stay within the approved maximum speed limit. On the other hand, some are of the school of thought that they are other profitable ways to ensuring safety on our roads and I agree. Firstly, putting in place strict punitive measures in addressing issues associated with reckless driving such as driving drunk and making calls while on the wheels will help correct this. Furthermore, putting all vehicles that are not road worthy off the road by ensuring the vehicle inspection officials carry out thorough checks before issuance of road worthiness certificate will guarantee safety. For example a recent survey by the Federal Road Safety Corps revealed that 90% of road crashes in 2016 was as a result of reckless driving and vehicles not in good condition plying the highway. In conclusion, while they are varying opinions as to how the safety of the road can be achieved, I believe that enforcing laws against all offences related to reckless driving and putting off road all vehicles not road worthy will help mitigate this completely.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that critical to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
limits in automobiles, while others are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
profitable ways to address this. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
putting
in place punitive measures to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
that are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
worthy are off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
will guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
on the highways.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
limits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the highway free from accidents
as a result
of the increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
posed by over speeding, which accounts for about 20% of commercial vehicular crash. Drivers of commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
are always in a hurry to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their destination in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more trips and increase turnover.
In addition
, installation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
limiting device would compel drivers to stay within the approved maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
limit.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are of the school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
profitable ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
putting
in place strict punitive measures in addressing issues associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
drunk and making calls while on the wheels will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
correct this.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
putting
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
that are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
worthy off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensuring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
inspection officials carry out thorough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
issuance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
worthiness certificate will guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
For example
a recent survey by the Federal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Safety
Corps revealed that 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
crashes in 2016 was
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
not in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition plying the highway.

In conclusion
, while they are varying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
as to how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
can
be achieved
, I believe that enforcing laws against all
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
putting
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
worthy will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
mitigate this completely.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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