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At schools, students should only be taught academic knowledge to pass the exams, and skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should be learned from family and friends. To what exteny do you agree or disagree? v.1

At schools, students should only be taught academic knowledge to pass the exams, and skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should be learned from family and friends. To what exteny v. 1
Nowadays tourism is the backbone of the economy, tourism plays a vital role in interchanging the different cultures on the planet, some countries encourage the tourism for the development of the municipal area. Tourism help in lowering the unemployment rate, there is more job opening for the local people. Native public construct restaurant, hotel and the cafe on the land belonging to them. Tourist visits the local building for the food and accommodation, in turn the town citizen get business opportunities and cultural sharing with the tourist. We can see the last year data of the Switzerland where 90% of the population assign in the tourist industry. It includes the driving job, hotel manager, travel guide and contributing towards the free education. Secondly tourism is involved in the advancement of new technology, when foreigner visit the other territory they bring new ideas of cooking, work management and the gadgets which increase the curiosity in the mind of the person belonging to the ancestral land. For example, in India, former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi visited the United State of America in 1986, he deals with the chairman of American computer limited and bring the computer to India which kick-starts the technology era in India very rapidly. In addition, we cannot neglect the disadvantages of tourism, it also brings personal matters interference between the nations. In 2015 the University of Sydney research shows that 83% of the environmental degradation was caused by the tourist every year. Let's see the situation of the Manali, hill station in the Himachal Pradesh area, the tourist registration are the 20lakh last year, which is quite high, due to high density population, the top layer of snow was start melting from the mountains, thus the water level of the river is increasing dramatically. At the conclusion, the advantage has a little upper edge over the disadvantages, because tourism is the part of the country, which bring prosperity and network by linking to another realm on the earth.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the backbone of the economy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
plays a vital role in interchanging the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures on the planet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
for the development of the municipal area.

Tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in lowering the unemployment rate, there is more job opening for the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Native public construct restaurant, hotel and the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
on the land belonging to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourist
visits the local building for the food and accommodation, in turn the town citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
business opportunities and cultural sharing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the last year data of the Switzerland where 90% of the population assign in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
industry. It includes the driving job, hotel manager, travel guide and contributing towards the free education.

Secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is involved
in the advancement of new technology, when foreigner visit the other territory they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of cooking, work management and the gadgets which increase the curiosity in the mind of the person belonging to the ancestral land.
For example
, in India, former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi visited the United State of America in 1986, he deals with the chairman of American computer limited and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
the computer to India which kick-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
the technology era in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
.

In addition
, we cannot neglect the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
personal matters interference between the nations. In 2015 the University of Sydney research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 83% of the environmental degradation
was caused
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
every year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the situation of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manali
, hill station in the Himachal Pradesh area, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
registration are the 20lakh last year, which is quite high, due to high density population, the top layer of snow was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
melting from the mountains,
thus
the water level of the river is increasing
dramatically
.

At the conclusion, the advantage has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
upper edge over the disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the part of the country, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
prosperity and network by linking to another realm on the earth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay At schools, students should only be taught academic knowledge to pass the exams, and skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should be learned from family and friends. To what exteny v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • At schools, students should only be taught academic knowledge to pass the exams, and skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should be learned from family and friends. To what exteny do you agree or disagree? v.1